“Dead Or Alive, You Are Coming With Me.”


Been having a lot of pent up anger of late.

It compounds.

Lack of sleep.

Haven’t been reading a good book for almost a week now.

Missing out on my daily meditations.

Haven’t been rewriting my goals.

Not been listening to motivational audios.

Skipping motivational & educational videos.

It’s been months since I’ve been visualizing my success.

I haven’t been exercising as much as I did.

Been poorly taking my vitamins and supplements.

All things happening daily, gradually, to a point where I feel exhausted physically and mentally.

Dropping my emotional intelligence.

I’m in the business of where losing your cool would cost you your job.

That love and hate relationship of being concerned of losing the job you hate.

Where now I incorrectly blame others for my lack of self mastery.

You attract what you are.

Happiness is an inside job.

Won’t happen overnight, but you can change your direction overnight.

The rest is just consistency on your part.

Change begins when you take 100% responsibility of what’s happening around you.

To you.

Through you.

~ Musa

Blaming It On The Full Moon

It was on a night like this. Full moon and all. Think I was waist high. Full-Moon-e1406929374981

Another fight between my parents. Sister too young to notice.

It bled out to the street. I guess the house was too small.

She’s was so Orlando, managing to throw in some licks of her own.

In the background I was hearing a voice, it sounded foreign, of someone reprimanding my dad and my mom.

That’s when I realized it was my voice. So loud, it felt wrong. To be raising my voice like that to my parents?

Mom had sister wrapped around her back with a small blanket.

But what got me was how clear the night was, outside

So clear from the light from the moon. So clear it was as if God had Her stage light on. Just for us.

I too was smacked around as well for obeying my mother when she asked me to follow her with her wanting to leave.

Heck, she was leaving. Taking evening taxi’s my aunt’s place maybe…

Never got to ask.

Mixed emotions.

Happy mom is away. But sad that she’s gone.

I wouldn’t come back if I was her.

But I want her back.

Dad managed to rip my sister from mom’s back.

Was sis’ crying?

Maybe, but this memory is not about her, it’s about me.

Why the fuck am I witnessing this.

It can’t be real.

Was smacked back reality because I endangered myself by being on road and not safe on the pavement.

But it’s not my fault I’m outside so late this evening, dude

But I’ll take it.

I’ve been taking it. For a while now so… whatever.

But why are you doing this in front of my sister?

We’re back home now.

Mom’s not here though so we’re back in the house now.

Awkward silence now.

Sister on his knee trying to quiet her.

Don’t quite down baby.

This is an outrage.

Why you calming down now?

You going to betray me as well?

Wants from with the women in my life?

Women are trash.

What now.

It’s still light out.

Sister be sleeping now.

So it’s time for bed as well.

My heart fuming. Keeping me warm from the cool breeze that was outside.

Feeling hollow.

Playing the blame game. Blame my mother. Blame my father. Blame my sister. And blaming it on the full moon.

~ Musa

The 6 Common Fears from Think and Grow Rich: In Closing

“Worry is a state of mind.”

“It works slowly but persistently.”

“Step by step in “digs itself in” until it paralyses one’s reasoning faculty and destroys self-confidence and initiative.”

“Worry is a form of sustained fear caused by indecision.”

“Therefore it is a state of mind which can be controlled”.

“An unsettled mind is helpless.”

“Indecision makes an unsettled mind.”

“Most individuals lack the willpower to reach decisions promptly and stand by them after they have been made.”

“The six basic fears becomes translated into a state of worry through indecision.”

“Relieve yourself forever of the fear of death by reaching a decision to accept death as an inescapable event.”

“Whip the fear of poverty by reaching a decision to get along with whatever wealth you can accumulate without worry.”

“Put your foot upon the neck of the fear of criticism by reaching a decision not to worry about what other people think, do or say.”

“Eliminate the fear of old age by reaching a decision to accept it, not as a handicap, but as a great blessing which carries with it wisdom, self control and understanding not known to youth.”

“Acquit yourself of the fear of loss love by reaching a decision to get along without love, if necessary.”

“Kill the habit of worry, in all its forms, by reaching a general, blanket decision that nothing life has to offer is worth the price of worry.”

“With this decision will come poise, peace of mind and calmness of thought that will bring happiness.”

“A person whose mind is filled with fear not only destroys their own chances of intelligent action, transmits these destructive vibrations to the minds of other people and destroys their chances as well.”

“The vibrations of fear pass from one mind to another just as quickly and as surely as the sound of the human voice passes from the broadcasting station to the receiving station and by the self-same medium.”

“For reasons unknown, a bee will sting the person whose mind is realising vibrations of fear much more readily than it will molest the person whose mind registers no fear.”

“…the person who realises thoughts of a destructive nature must suffer through the breaking down of the faculty of creative imagination.”

“…the presence in the mind of any destructive emotion develops a negative personality that repels people, and often converts them into antagonists.”

“…source of damage to the person who entertains or realises negative thoughts lies in this significant fact – these thought impulses are not only damaging others but they embed themselves in the subconscious mind of the person realising them, and they become a part of their character.”

“One is never through with a thought merely by releasing it.”

“When a thought is released, it spreads in every direction through the medium of the ether, but it also plants itself permanently in the subconscious mind of the person realising it.”

“To be successful you must find peace of mind, acquire the material needs of life and, above all, attain happiness.”

“All of these evidence of success begin in the form of thought impulses…”

“You may control your own mind; you have the power to feed it whatever thought impulses you choose.”

“With this privilege goes also the responsibility of using it constructively.”

“You are the master of your own earthly destiny just as surely as you have the power to control your own environment, making your life what you want it to be…”

and that concludes the summarised notes I took from Think and Grow Rich – Napoleon Hill, on the subject of the six common fears.

I am deeply grateful for sparing the time you took reading my series of posts, summarised extracts actually, from one of the greatest success writers known to man, that in Napoleon Hill.

– Musawenkosi Tshoaele