What Is Love…?

Banner_Backgrounds_questionsMen don’t like talking about their feelings.

Let me not generalize.

I don’t like talking about my feelings.

This pisses Thube off.

Instead of me articualting, with my mouth & voice like a normal person, that Thube on this particular daym the comment you made really upset me.

It stung even more when you kept bringing it up during the course of the day.

Making as if I out to make life difficult for you, which is the last thing I want.

But no.

Musa keeps quiet and walks around moody, being sarcastic and rude to my person.

This is because I associate talking about my feelings as a sign of weakness.

And I don’t want to be seen as weak man in the eyes of my woman.

So I don’t talk about it.

That’s very clever of me.

This obviously drops number of times we have sex because I’m mad at her and she’s not going to reward me with sex for shitty attitude I’ve been giving her.

Ending up with me considering getting it somewhere else, because I am not getting it at home…and it’s her fault…

…Very childish thinking this.

All the while, girl has no clue why I’m being so spiteful during our interactions.

And where do I expect her to quench her sexual needs when I’m being such a dick.

(See what I did there?)

This “weakness” kills relationships.

Well, it’s one of the things that kills relationships…then there’s money…but I digress.

I came to the realization of this story I’ve been telling myself while watching Tony Robbins “I Am Not Your Guru,” on the Netflix that I’ve been trying out with the night time data deals Homecloud is offering.

It gets tiring for Thube, hounding me to voice it out what’s eating at me.

The thought of her one day not coming to me, to “hound me” as I put, to only allow the rift between us grow into having us going our separate paths, shook me up.

Am I willing to have a bitch fit that leads me to losing the mother of my firstborn?

The love of my life.

My best friend.

My wife.

I decided to then drop the story I was telling myself about what my definition of being weak means.

To save my relationship.

By beginning to see communication as an essential element of what makes us a power couple. 51rV-3xwEJL._SX321_BO1,204,203,200_

The more we communicate, the stronger our bond, the more we can fill up each others love tank by communicating better with each others love languages.

The more the sex.

Communication is key.

It’s a difference between having a relationship & having a business transaction.

Because love is communication.

Musa

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The Reason Why You Are Single…According to Tony Robbins

It’s amazing on how one simple strategy can change the way you interact in your relationships.

As opposed to the current one you are using now that is giving you average results.fork-in-the-road-dreams-meaning

Like this one relationship tip Tony Robbins just gave me through a YouTube video titled why are you single.

Mind you I’m not single, I just love learning.

He brought to the surface something I always do…did to my girlfriend.

Maybe you would interpret it differently when you watch the clip, but he showed me how when she’s asking a question, it’s really not about get my opinion on the matter, but more on what she wants to see happen.

And once we discuss and unravel the subject at hand I, as the man in her life, need to take action towards making it happen.

Because women love a man who has a high level of certainty.

I took for granted that my baby wants someone who is certain and decisive.

I also wouldn’t want to have a wimp as a lover.

This information helped me to fulfill the kind of guy I want her to see me as.

Hope you found this useful.

~ Musa

“You Are Not Alone…”

51Yyzvo-TOL._SX304_BO1,204,203,200_After reading Robert Kiyosaki’s Rich Dad Poor Dad: What The Rich Teach Their Kids About Money That the Poor and Middle Class Do Not! I decided to quit my government job so I can start making money in the stock market.

It was the dumbest idea I had because I should have already been making money in the market already, before even thinking of letting go of my “secure” job.

At the least making the income from it that exceeded my expenses.

Now that is a good reason to consider dropping the 9 to 5.

So as you might have guessed, the project was a flob.

Leading to me losing my job, leading me asking my mother for lunch money when she went to work in the morning, since I was living with her at the time.

Losing my car, which was still financed by the bank.

Losing my self esteem and confidence.

And I kept saying that I’m ok…but I wasn’t.

I was depressed but I told myself I wasn’t.

With me not eating and if I did eat I wasn’t eating right.

51aAy2A9NiL._SY344_BO1,204,203,200_Spending most my time in my room, playstation all day.

I’m not saying Robert Kiyosaki was the cause of my depression, see Rich Dad’s Before You Quit Your Job: 10 Real-Life Lessons Every Entrepreneur Should Know About Building a Multimillion-Dollar Business.

I was in the dumps but I didn’t want to admit that I was.

Something that happens to other people and not me, kinda thing.

Sometimes you are too proud to tell the truth about yourself.

Sometimes an intervention can pull you up and out, so you can try again…better.

Sold my playstation.

Brushed up my CV.

Went out again applying for jobs and getting interviews so to go back in the rat race again, and doing it right this time around.

To try again.

To fail my way to success.

But what I’m trying to put across is that doing something, the mere act of taking action, helped.

Taking action helps.

Just doing…something…anything that will keep your body moving helps.

But I think your faith is the ultimate defining factor.

I like how Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson puts in this 2:36 min video on Facebook.

Even Dr. Norman Vincent Peale said it is his book The Power of Positive Thinking, “Feeling listless, write a list.”81ND4ZcIsxL

So if you are feeling dead inside then get into motion.

Motion creates emotion. – Anthony Robbins

Thank you.

I’m sorry.

Please forgive me.

I love you.

Musa

Can You Stand The Rain?

I remember writing a post about avoiding pushing away your down days.

We can’t be working at peak levels all the time.

24/7.

365.

But moods can be managed.

And do agree with Tony Robbins on listing out things that trigger your feel good mood.

Especially what you do with your body when you are happy.

Music does it for me.

Listening to Pro, who once known as ProKid, does it for me.

But Rihanna‘s song a doing for me as well lately.

It’s kinda hard checking out her music videos though.

With so much ass and boobs you could swear you’re watching porn.

Maybe America is de-sensitized by nudity.

Hey, sex sales I guess…I was under the impression that it’s her talent, skill, hard work that’s making her stay on top of her game.

Maybe it’s because I don’t watch porn anymore after watching this Porn Experiment.

I digress.

So physically, to trigger my feel good vibes:

  • I have my shoulders back,
  • eyes are wider,
  • I move my hands a lot,
  • I smile,
  • I speak louder and faster,
  • I lean forward when I talk,
  • I make more eye contact,
  • my face is more animated,
  • take deeper breathes and expand my fingers.

But that’s me, I don’t know about you.

My challenge to you is to find a way to decode your body into tricking your brain into feeling good.

So when you feeling offish, there’s a chance you are shooting off your “offish triggers.”

Namely:

  • slouching shoulders,
  • short quick breaths,
  • sleepy eyes,
  • frowning,
  • closed off body language,
  • crossed eye brows,
  • feet dragging.

There a lot of things eternally that we can’t change, focused on what you can.

I found life is easier that way.

I love you.

I’m sorry.

Please forgive me.

Thank you.

~ Musawenkosi Tsoaela

“Look Around Less, Imagine More.” ― @AbrahamHicks

It been a while I wrote a blog.

Sometimes I overthink the process.

But all it is, at its basic level, is an online journal.

A glorified, online journal a friend of my commented.

Guess it’s this kind of glory that keeps me sane.

I love writing.

That’s saying a lot since some people don’t know what they love.

Love in the sense of the purpose and calm and joy you feel while in the act of doing the thing that makes you powerful.

It was a question I asked myself right before I went to bed with the real intention of wanting to “hear” the answer I come up with in the silent moments when I wake up the following morning.

It was an “I hear dead people moment,” obviously suggested by one of those life changing, surprisingly enjoyable read by Neale Donald Walsch.

One of those success habits recommended daily so to get in touch with the God within apart from the God you find in church.

Success habits that Tony Robbins put so well in that video <<

I love that video because he speaks about Gratitude.

Something I have not been exercising as I should lately.

Especially with the new develops in my life.

Got a whole lot of things to be grateful for so I can be energized with the strength needed to power through.

Philippians 4:13

I'm sorry.

Please forgive me.

Thank you.

I love you.

~ Musawenkosi Tshoaele

Raising Your Standards Changes Your Reality

In his book Awaken The Giant Within, Mr Anthony Robbins mentioned how I should raise my standards as part of the process of changing my life for the better.

A point I am beginning to agree with especially with the stench I have to endure on most mornings when I pass through Bree Taxi Rank.

One of two of the major transportation hubs in Johannesburg that offers commutters public transport to various destinations.

It didn’t use to bother me much, the stench of piss, decay, litter, ponds of sewerage I need to skip over…now that I think about it…it should have…

But now that I am reaching a point in my life when things are slowing down and take the time to take in my environment,  I’m getting picky with some of the things my mind gets exposed to.

I am changing what I used to see as acceptable.

And I will work on taking charge of more things in my life and being deliberate on what I exposed myself on a regular basis.

Bree not being one of them.

I am sorry.

Please forgive me.

Thank you.

I love you.

~ Musawenkosi Tshoaele

What You Link to Pleasure or Pain Determines Your Results

A lesson that I’ve been learning for the past couple of weeks at my sales job is that your behavior has a direct link to the results you get.

The way you behave influences the way you act.

And it’s your actions that produce the results you get.

And lately for me it hasn’t been fruitful for me to allow my emotions to rule how I act.

Since it’s because of that, that my results have not been so awesome.

And the funny thing with life’s lessons, as painful as they are, they will keep on repeating until you get the lesson.

A famous personal development coach by the name of @Tony Robbins once said we are motivated by pain and pleasure.

The more pleasure you link into doing something, the more you will keep doing it.

The more pain you will link into not doing something, the more you will continue not doing it.

So in other words the more I link pleasure or comfort in doing what am I currently doing, I will forever produce the results I am getting.

Same goes for how if I continue to link pain or discomfort to doing something different, which is outside of my comfort zone, the higher the chances of me continuing getting the results I am currently getting.

Solution:

So it is a matter of changing what I link to pleasure and what I link to pain so to get things going.

For example

With regards to pain…

– how painful is it for me now not getting the results I want?

– what am I losing out on because of my current behavior?

– who that I love is suffering because of my results?

– how is it affecting me now financially, emotionally, physically and spiritually?

– how worse will it be for me 5 years from now, 10 years from now, or 20?

With regards to pleasure…

– how pleasurable and awesome would it be for me if I DID get the results I wanted?

– what would I gain from the new and exciting rewards from my joyful results?

– who that I love will be benefiting from my new and improving results?

– how will I gain financially, emotionally, physically and spiritually?

– how much more better will it be for me 5 years from now? 10 years from today? Or in 20 years time?

I love you.

Thank you.

– Musawenkosi Tshoaele