You Are Your Addictions

I’m an impulsive guy and I don’t believe in denying myself of anything I crave.

The one disclaimer is that it shouldn’t come at the expense of others.

A disclaimer I’ve been striving to live up to.

There are urges or repetitive habits we indulge in that makes us all “addicts.”

Phone addicts.

Series addicts.

TV drama addicts.

Music addicts.

Movie addicts.

Download/streaming addicts.

Social media likes.

Partying.

Staying at home.

Alcoholic.

Smoking.

Sex.

Money making.

Money spending.

Action oriented.

Tattoo.

Gym.

Information gathering.

In some shape or form we are all addicted to something.

It comes back to what Mr. Anthony Robbins said about being able to identify the emotional fulfillment you achieve from getting your next “fix”, will help you replace your addiction to one that works for you and not against you.

But I think the first step is to have the emotional intelligence Dr. Stephen R. Covey writes about of being aware of your “addictions”.

And being able to recognize whether they are working for you or not.

Then having the guts to put in the work needed to train your brain, over a period of time, in indulging in those habits (addictions) that will take you ahead in your life.

The things you repeatedly do or repeatedly don’t do, unconsciously and over time is the result of where you are right now.

~ Musa

How I Managed To Pay and Settle Most of My Debts

2018 wasn’t all bad this year.

Managed to muscle out around 2/3 of my lingering debts.

Shit I had pestering me for more than 2 years.

I slayed those motherfuckers in under 12 months with the help of my muse.

So financially I turned out better this year than the previous ones.

My muse had already done what I wanted to do.

Mr. Robbins was right, success leaves clues.

He also said the fastest way to achieve is model success.

So I had a sit down with my muse and took notes.

She said it’s going to hard.

I took that lightly.

Sacrifices had to be made with me denying myself takeouts, new shoes, new clothes.

I even sold my fucken Playstation of all things to raise funds.

But looking back it was worth it…well I’m still moody about my PS but what’s done is done.

She said I must stick to my monthly payments until I was done, then to move over to the next until that is done.

Then to repeat the process until I was done with them.

But Musa being Musa decided to add some Robert Kiyosaki to the mix.

Something he wrote that stuck with me.

It wasn’t in his Rich Dad Poor Dad book. I think it was in his Cashflow Quadrant or was it that Rich Dad’s Guide to Investing one?

Cashflow-Quadrant-02

Anywoo, the old timer suggested sticking to your monthly payments on all your debts.

But he suggested adding R500 to the one with the highest interest and paying that one off until its settled.

He then said once settled, take the R500+ you were paying off the 1st fuckers with and add that to what you were already paying on your 2nd debt.

So I managed to call all my debtors and arranged on paying them R50 a month. They were outraged and tried to bully me into paying more.

Told them I’m making a commitment to pay them. Every month. And if they want more then they can go to hell but the amount they will be getting is the one I’m committing to.

I then hung up. And kept my word.

But more than that, I started paying them the 1st one more than they were expecting.

1st debt

R50 pm + R500 extra = R550 pm that will going towards the 1st account I owe.

Once settled I requested my settlement letter and moved on to the 2nd debt.

2nd debt

R50 that already being paid per month + R550 I used on 1st debtor now makes R600 pm.

This will go towards paying off the 2nd debt until its settled.

3rd debt

R50 already being paid per month + R600 I used on 2nd debtor = R650 pm.

R650 will now go towards settling debt number 3.

I then moved down the line until I killed off most of what I owed.

There was one account I disputed that was over 5 years old. It appeared they were collecting from me illegally.

I stopped paying for that shit too.

Just like that, another one bites the dust.

When it comes to debt you should know your rights.

So from 7 accounts I’m down to 2 now.

I get those out of the way then I can get out of the credit review I put myself in.

The same credit review that put on hold any credit application I apply for.

I manage my own debt repayments even when I originally requested the credit review guys to assist.

Not realizing doing that would cut me out of getting loans and opening new food/clothing accounts.

Be careful what you agree on over the phone my friend.

It was a whore of a year that’s for sure.

But at least I have something to sure for it.

And I’m grateful.

~ Musa

Don’t Allow Yourself to Be Anyone’s B****

Raise Your Standards.

If you don’t ask much from yourself.

Then you will keep getting what you keep getting.

This guy I know, he wrote that the one thing he clearly remembered that helped him change from being a janitor to a multimillionaire businessman, was that he raised he standards.

He expected more from himself.

So there are things that I used to do, in the spirit of pleasing others.

But now I don’t.

There are people out there who believe they need to be placed in pedestals.

An idea that they have people around them promote. Thinking that we all dance to their fiddle.

Not all of us do.

Don’t allow people to turn you into a person that begs for their approval.

Some people, because you love them, will have you feeling small and use emotional blackmail that will have you crawling on your knees as a price for them to welcome you back in their arms.

Because you are emotionally invested, the indecency alludes you.

But one day, you eyes will be wide opened.

Who knows.

Maybe that day will come when you start raising your standards.

tdkr-batman-rain

~ Musa

God Answers…

Looking over my blog for inspiration.

Wanted to write about something fresh.

Life experiences work best.

I then remembered that I have been affirming BS over the past few days.

Finished reading my book.

So I’m left with my own thinking, with no forward thinking concepts to rival them.

So I resorted to what I had already with me.

Prayer.

Positive affirmation to the Invisible Supply to give me strength & the courage to free me from the quicksand I have thrown myself in.

Created by the negative thinking I have been over thinking.

And God answered.

Not in the bush-on-fire kind of way.

She usually more subtle than that.

To me anyways.

Something I have forgetten with all the attention I have giving the outside world.

With me having my hand been bitten from over extending my compassion to others, but giving none to myself.

Through those silent, emo prayers I was repeating to myself manifested a call from my guardian angel, in the form of a coworker.

Someone I draw strength from because she’s such a freaking inspiration.

She managed to do settle all her debts.

No matter how painful it was, with her having to sacfrice her looks for a brighter financial future.

She also managed to raise her standards.

Asking more from herself because of how much value she now sees in herself.

S*** like that, makes people frkn beautiful.

I live for moments like those.

Spending time with people who are were I want to be or aspiring to reach that level.

She came to fetch my ass for a much needed free lift to work & back in her new car.

Wow.

She never seems to disappoint.

Coming from a dark past to be excelling the way she is, makes me feel like a whimp for complaining as much as I am.

It lifted my spirit.

I needed that.

What I’m trying to say is that She answers in a various, unexpected ways that we miss.

Billboard sign.

Song lyrics heard over the radio.

Meme.

Statements said in passing.

She doesn’t shout from the rooftops.

God answers in whisphers.

~ Musa

“Dead Or Alive, You Are Coming With Me.”

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Been having a lot of pent up anger of late.

It compounds.

Lack of sleep.

Haven’t been reading a good book for almost a week now.

Missing out on my daily meditations.

Haven’t been rewriting my goals.

Not been listening to motivational audios.

Skipping motivational & educational videos.

It’s been months since I’ve been visualizing my success.

I haven’t been exercising as much as I did.

Been poorly taking my vitamins and supplements.

All things happening daily, gradually, to a point where I feel exhausted physically and mentally.

Dropping my emotional intelligence.

I’m in the business of where losing your cool would cost you your job.

That love and hate relationship of being concerned of losing the job you hate.

Where now I incorrectly blame others for my lack of self mastery.

You attract what you are.

Happiness is an inside job.

Won’t happen overnight, but you can change your direction overnight.

The rest is just consistency on your part.

Change begins when you take 100% responsibility of what’s happening around you.

To you.

Through you.

~ Musa

You Fear the Sabre-tooth

6753809I read somewhere that the brain is wired since the stone age to think negatively so to protect us from the dangers that existed then.

Sabre-tooth as an example.

These days this negative thinking works overtime, stopping us from getting ahead in life.

Because we fear trying something new.

Fear of the Sabre-tooth.

This happens without us even realizing.

Without reading, preferably instructional books, then nothing will contradict that thinking.

You could even try swapping listening to the car radio station or your phone playlist for an audiobook.

The hours you spent while traveling, could be spent sharpening your mind against the Sabre-tooth.

Marvel_avengers_alliance_sabretooth_by_ratatrampa87-d6tj8tgThe benefits of investing in yourself will eventually be seen via your outlook in your life.

Maybe that’s what you need.

Maybe that’s what need.

A different outlook.

That comes from developing a habit of reading or listening daily to go sh*t.

~ Musa

What Is Love…?

Banner_Backgrounds_questionsMen don’t like talking about their feelings.

Let me not generalize.

I don’t like talking about my feelings.

This pisses Thube off.

Instead of me articualting, with my mouth & voice like a normal person, that Thube on this particular daym the comment you made really upset me.

It stung even more when you kept bringing it up during the course of the day.

Making as if I out to make life difficult for you, which is the last thing I want.

But no.

Musa keeps quiet and walks around moody, being sarcastic and rude to my person.

This is because I associate talking about my feelings as a sign of weakness.

And I don’t want to be seen as weak man in the eyes of my woman.

So I don’t talk about it.

That’s very clever of me.

This obviously drops number of times we have sex because I’m mad at her and she’s not going to reward me with sex for shitty attitude I’ve been giving her.

Ending up with me considering getting it somewhere else, because I am not getting it at home…and it’s her fault…

…Very childish thinking this.

All the while, girl has no clue why I’m being so spiteful during our interactions.

And where do I expect her to quench her sexual needs when I’m being such a dick.

(See what I did there?)

This “weakness” kills relationships.

Well, it’s one of the things that kills relationships…then there’s money…but I digress.

I came to the realization of this story I’ve been telling myself while watching Tony Robbins “I Am Not Your Guru,” on the Netflix that I’ve been trying out with the night time data deals Homecloud is offering.

It gets tiring for Thube, hounding me to voice it out what’s eating at me.

The thought of her one day not coming to me, to “hound me” as I put, to only allow the rift between us grow into having us going our separate paths, shook me up.

Am I willing to have a bitch fit that leads me to losing the mother of my firstborn?

The love of my life.

My best friend.

My wife.

I decided to then drop the story I was telling myself about what my definition of being weak means.

To save my relationship.

By beginning to see communication as an essential element of what makes us a power couple. 51rV-3xwEJL._SX321_BO1,204,203,200_

The more we communicate, the stronger our bond, the more we can fill up each others love tank by communicating better with each others love languages.

The more the sex.

Communication is key.

It’s a difference between having a relationship & having a business transaction.

Because love is communication.

Musa