Taking Control Can Be Scary Sometimes…

It’s my day off.

And guess what am I doing?

I just powered up my work laptop, and started going over my work emails.

My mind wanders to places and people I shouldn’t be wandering towards, whenever I’m idle.

Even though I miss them, terribly.

I always used to wonder how cool it would be working from home.

I should have been more specific in my wonder because I got what I wanted but at a cost.sethu

Not to mention the change of lifestyle my daughter has to endure, with all these restrictions in movement and not being able to go to nursery school.

And now with me answering customer calls and, now recently, managing the customer inbox, while accommodating her autistic and ADHD mannerisms – over and above this pandemic, is doing a number on me.

The hammer on the nail was when I received that “pink envelope,” – that pink email in my case.

The company will not be extending my contract after the 31st of May 2020.

20″plague” it should be called.

 

In life, there’s a lot of things that are beyond your control.

The trick is not focusing on what is beyond your control, but focusing on what is.

My life lately has been me focusing on that. Shit I can’t control.

I’ve heard this before, and I’ve also mentioned this before, that life is more manageable when you grab hold of things you can control.

Control is an illusion, but an illusion that gives life purpose, I think.

So what can I do now, to help put myself in a better position in the future?

Hebrews 12:11

Those are the questions I should be asking.

Self-empowering questions, and not self-defeating questions.

~ Musa

What I Think About Women…

She asked what I think about women.

Women has small brains, while man have bigger brains.

To the ignorant that might sound like an insult to women.

Truthfully, it’s a huge compliment.

It’s why they have various intelligences that allow them to not only grow but to also give birth to another human being.

If you won’t fully understand this spectacle unless you had the honor of being present when this miracle of an event called birthing takes place.

There are these brain “pathways” that carry messages from one point to another, all within the brain.

The less distance it takes the message to reach its destination via these neural pathway, the faster your thinking is.

Fast thinking, usually equates to a higher form of intelligence.

Women are more intelligent than men.

This makes them the superior species.

Like David used to say, “If you can’t beat them with strength, beat them with intellect.”

Men think like draughts players. Women are chess players.

It’s always a mind game with them.

Always ten steps ahead of you.

There’s a whole world of thinking when it comes to them.

They feel more than men do and this makes them more grounded and more spiritual than men.

A powerful combination which also influences their way of thinking.

Their perception is of life is a wealth of information that makes an information junkie like myself tremble from the craving.

This makes women more attractive to me.

They intuitively know things I would have to do research on.

My thinking is very linear.

Theirs is broad.

It’s life-giving.

I used to have debt that’s been following me for the longest of time, but the advice I got from this one lady allowed me to settle over 80% of the accounts I had in less than 12 months.

With what I thought wasn’t enough income to achieve such a feat.

I thought it was the end of the world when my daughter was diagnosed, until I connected with another lady who raised a child with hydrocephalus, until his passing at a very young age.

The strength I adopted from her story allowed me to be open with finding ways on being an accelerant when it came to my baby’s early intervention and to not be barrier towards her improving well-being.

In my preschooling years, my aunt used to take me along to the library so she can use the time to study for university and finding constructive ways to keep me busy.

Unconsciously introducing me to the world of books, which I used to pass the time with.

Another introduced me to “The Secret,” which heavily influenced my life choices.

And then there’s one I value above all else, has managed to bring my Cancerian-ass out of my shell, and raise my daughter to the healthy baby she currently is.

Women are equipped with speaking skills from a young age.

Which is a gift that allows them to even predict the outcome of most communications.

Engaging conversation is something I lack and there’s a world of teachers out there, which I can learn from.

And study.avPAW1d_460s

That’s where my fascination is with women.

And what I lack in communication skill, I make up with flirting.

I think it’s an insecurity thing.

“They will like me more” kind of thing, if I flirt.

They would be more at ease if I have a pleasing personality, maybe.

Like the jester was to kings and queens of all, being seen as a significant peasant in their eyes, fulfills one of my basic human needs.

A need I need fulfilled to feel as if I exist.

Being acknowledged.

Being noticed.

A person can do so far to get noticed by someone, anyone.

End up wondering how green the grass really is on the other side.

~ Musa

Are Your Among The Undead?

withGod needs praising.

I know this sounds weird from someone who has one foot in and one foot out when it comes to Christianity.

Actually it’s not God I have beef with but Christianity.

Most see them as one in the same.

But I always like to be clear that you can have one without the other, especially when it comes to what you define God as.

Something I felt throughout my jaded teachings in church.

An understanding I needed clarity on that I found in “Conversations with God.”

Thank you Nombali Ntuli for the recommended read.

It is with God that All things are possible.

Growing with understanding of what God really is, I feel, is a personal growth that you can share with others.

But it shouldn’t be gospel.

Although, I believe church is necessary.

The endless metaphors – open to a variety of interpretation – that become doctrine, are sprinkled throughout the Bible.

Hence the various churches we have.

Variety is good.

It’s good because Tony says it’s good.

Tony likes Conor.

I don’t like Conor.

Maybe it’s because I don’t know his story.

I know Tony’s story though.

So Conor is good people then.

It hit me this morning how acknowledging the existence of a source, the original source of everything, gives you power.

I call it God.

Some call it Energy.

Some call it the Universe.

It’s All this and so much more.

That continued acknowledgment of this All and how you are a physical extension of the non-physical, which is bigger than you.

Since it exists in everything that exists.

Sometimes we carry these “crosses” on our shoulders, believing we are in this alone.

In this “adulting” thing or period of challenge or discomfort alone.

This misconception makes this life experience we are having a tough experience, for some.

But I’m sure you don’t fall in that category.

The unlimited strength that comes from praising and being in a state of genuine gratitude of God, reignites your enthusiasm.

hqdefaultThe flavor of life becomes lost if all you do is just ploughing along, day in and day out, “zombifies” you.

You become linear.

The undead.

Because you “have” to do it and not because you love to do it.

You need to wake up for the love and not for the obligation.

Things are done half-heartedly when you have to do them, but people go above and beyond when people do what they love.

It’s a fire and brimstone journey going for what you love.

You need to keep going though.

You need to go through it.

The ridicule.

The humiliation.

The stoning.

The process.

For you to be born anew.

Something your old self needs to die for.

Like that other guy did on the cross?god

He did it.

Died for what he believed in.

A life of purpose.

I think we need of that in our lives.

A life of purpose, as opposed to a life of routine.

Purpose is life.

Routine is death.

~ Musa

PS: Compliments of the New Season

To What End?

I’m not sure about you but when I’m feeling down I tend to look for a feeling of nullsignificance on the Internet.

I sometimes find it by generating traffic to whatever online footprint I have.

Generating traffic, from the little I know, comes from consistent updating of quality content…over time.

I used to think one or two updates was going to make me traffic generating king.

But it doesn’t work that way.

I mean, to what end?

What is your goal?

For exposure?

To make money?

What’s plan?

Reverse engineer that shit.

Gary Vaynerchuck said it best…when he said…whatever man, Gary is just an awesome human being, please follow him…

…yes, this blog was basically about Gary and how awesome he is.

Please check out his latest podcast on his website.

You thought I was going to write something deep neh?

Maybe next time, stay tuned 🙂

~ Musa

The BS Story You Keep Telling Yourself…

I just realized something, I’m 35 and I don’t have a pension fund.

This was a result of me jumping from one company to another.

Yes, it’s my fault.

Leaving permanent, 4 year government job I had in favor of fulltime stock trading, was a very risky move.

That stunt came back to bite me in the ass, when that venture failed.

Mainly because I did not initially find someone who was already succeeding in what I wanted to do.

And modelling their success habits that will allow me to be as successful.

Mentorship, would have this most very lucrative for me.

I had to go to corporate world with zero pension fund, bouncing from one pension fund-less job to another.

This was due to the kind of temporary jobs I’ve been getting.

Temps jobs don’t come pension benefits.

Now because I’ve been relying on a company to determine my future financial security, I’m left caught with my dick in my hand.

I’ve been relying on other people to provide a level of security that they themselves aren’t aware of.

There’s no power there.

That part of my life has been titled as one of my greatest failure.

But I’ve now found that it’s one of my greatest successes.

Because of the lessons it has taught me.

More of a warning.

That you are leaving yourself too exposed if you success depends on someone else’s decision.

Your chances of success will tilt in your favour when you take 100% ownership of your level of success in your life.81x2aSRQqGL

Saying that anyone or any institution is the reason behind why you’re not getting ahead in life, is a bullshit story you keep telling yourself.

So much so that you believe it.

And because of your belief, this has become your reality.

Just because things are dire for now, does not mean I’m f***ed for life.

Especially when books by Anthony Robbins paint a different picture of my possible future.

~ Musa

You Are Your Addictions

I’m an impulsive guy and I don’t believe in denying myself of anything I crave.

The one disclaimer is that it shouldn’t come at the expense of others.

A disclaimer I’ve been striving to live up to.

There are urges or repetitive habits we indulge in that makes us all “addicts.”

Phone addicts.

Series addicts.

TV drama addicts.

Music addicts.

Movie addicts.

Download/streaming addicts.

Social media likes.

Partying.

Staying at home.

Alcoholic.

Smoking.

Sex.

Money making.

Money spending.

Action oriented.

Tattoo.

Gym.

Information gathering.

In some shape or form we are all addicted to something.

It comes back to what Mr. Anthony Robbins said about being able to identify the emotional fulfillment you achieve from getting your next “fix”, will help you replace your addiction to one that works for you and not against you.

But I think the first step is to have the emotional intelligence Dr. Stephen R. Covey writes about of being aware of your “addictions”.

And being able to recognize whether they are working for you or not.

Then having the guts to put in the work needed to train your brain, over a period of time, in indulging in those habits (addictions) that will take you ahead in your life.

The things you repeatedly do or repeatedly don’t do, unconsciously and over time is the result of where you are right now.

~ Musa

How I Managed To Pay and Settle Most of My Debts

2018 wasn’t all bad this year.

Managed to muscle out around 2/3 of my lingering debts.

Shit I had pestering me for more than 2 years.

I slayed those motherfuckers in under 12 months with the help of my muse.

So financially I turned out better this year than the previous ones.

My muse had already done what I wanted to do.

Mr. Robbins was right, success leaves clues.

He also said the fastest way to achieve is model success.

So I had a sit down with my muse and took notes.

She said it’s going to hard.

I took that lightly.

Sacrifices had to be made with me denying myself takeouts, new shoes, new clothes.

I even sold my fucken Playstation of all things to raise funds.

But looking back it was worth it…well I’m still moody about my PS but what’s done is done.

She said I must stick to my monthly payments until I was done, then to move over to the next until that is done.

Then to repeat the process until I was done with them.

But Musa being Musa decided to add some Robert Kiyosaki to the mix.

Something he wrote that stuck with me.

It wasn’t in his Rich Dad Poor Dad book. I think it was in his Cashflow Quadrant or was it that Rich Dad’s Guide to Investing one?

Cashflow-Quadrant-02

Anywoo, the old timer suggested sticking to your monthly payments on all your debts.

But he suggested adding R500 to the one with the highest interest and paying that one off until its settled.

He then said once settled, take the R500+ you were paying off the 1st fuckers with and add that to what you were already paying on your 2nd debt.

So I managed to call all my debtors and arranged on paying them R50 a month. They were outraged and tried to bully me into paying more.

Told them I’m making a commitment to pay them. Every month. And if they want more then they can go to hell but the amount they will be getting is the one I’m committing to.

I then hung up. And kept my word.

But more than that, I started paying them the 1st one more than they were expecting.

1st debt

R50 pm + R500 extra = R550 pm that will going towards the 1st account I owe.

Once settled I requested my settlement letter and moved on to the 2nd debt.

2nd debt

R50 that already being paid per month + R550 I used on 1st debtor now makes R600 pm.

This will go towards paying off the 2nd debt until its settled.

3rd debt

R50 already being paid per month + R600 I used on 2nd debtor = R650 pm.

R650 will now go towards settling debt number 3.

I then moved down the line until I killed off most of what I owed.

There was one account I disputed that was over 5 years old. It appeared they were collecting from me illegally.

I stopped paying for that shit too.

Just like that, another one bites the dust.

When it comes to debt you should know your rights.

So from 7 accounts I’m down to 2 now.

I get those out of the way then I can get out of the credit review I put myself in.

The same credit review that put on hold any credit application I apply for.

I manage my own debt repayments even when I originally requested the credit review guys to assist.

Not realizing doing that would cut me out of getting loans and opening new food/clothing accounts.

Be careful what you agree on over the phone my friend.

It was a whore of a year that’s for sure.

But at least I have something to sure for it.

And I’m grateful.

~ Musa

Don’t Allow Yourself to Be Anyone’s B****

Raise Your Standards.

If you don’t ask much from yourself.

Then you will keep getting what you keep getting.

This guy I know, he wrote that the one thing he clearly remembered that helped him change from being a janitor to a multimillionaire businessman, was that he raised he standards.

He expected more from himself.

So there are things that I used to do, in the spirit of pleasing others.

But now I don’t.

There are people out there who believe they need to be placed in pedestals.

An idea that they have people around them promote. Thinking that we all dance to their fiddle.

Not all of us do.

Don’t allow people to turn you into a person that begs for their approval.

Some people, because you love them, will have you feeling small and use emotional blackmail that will have you crawling on your knees as a price for them to welcome you back in their arms.

Because you are emotionally invested, the indecency alludes you.

But one day, you eyes will be wide opened.

Who knows.

Maybe that day will come when you start raising your standards.

tdkr-batman-rain

~ Musa

God Answers…

Looking over my blog for inspiration.

Wanted to write about something fresh.

Life experiences work best.

I then remembered that I have been affirming BS over the past few days.

Finished reading my book.

So I’m left with my own thinking, with no forward thinking concepts to rival them.

So I resorted to what I had already with me.

Prayer.

Positive affirmation to the Invisible Supply to give me strength & the courage to free me from the quicksand I have thrown myself in.

Created by the negative thinking I have been over thinking.

And God answered.

Not in the bush-on-fire kind of way.

She usually more subtle than that.

To me anyways.

Something I have forgetten with all the attention I have giving the outside world.

With me having my hand been bitten from over extending my compassion to others, but giving none to myself.

Through those silent, emo prayers I was repeating to myself manifested a call from my guardian angel, in the form of a coworker.

Someone I draw strength from because she’s such a freaking inspiration.

She managed to do settle all her debts.

No matter how painful it was, with her having to sacfrice her looks for a brighter financial future.

She also managed to raise her standards.

Asking more from herself because of how much value she now sees in herself.

S*** like that, makes people frkn beautiful.

I live for moments like those.

Spending time with people who are were I want to be or aspiring to reach that level.

She came to fetch my ass for a much needed free lift to work & back in her new car.

Wow.

She never seems to disappoint.

Coming from a dark past to be excelling the way she is, makes me feel like a whimp for complaining as much as I am.

It lifted my spirit.

I needed that.

What I’m trying to say is that She answers in a various, unexpected ways that we miss.

Billboard sign.

Song lyrics heard over the radio.

Meme.

Statements said in passing.

She doesn’t shout from the rooftops.

God answers in whisphers.

~ Musa

“Dead Or Alive, You Are Coming With Me.”

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Been having a lot of pent up anger of late.

It compounds.

Lack of sleep.

Haven’t been reading a good book for almost a week now.

Missing out on my daily meditations.

Haven’t been rewriting my goals.

Not been listening to motivational audios.

Skipping motivational & educational videos.

It’s been months since I’ve been visualizing my success.

I haven’t been exercising as much as I did.

Been poorly taking my vitamins and supplements.

All things happening daily, gradually, to a point where I feel exhausted physically and mentally.

Dropping my emotional intelligence.

I’m in the business of where losing your cool would cost you your job.

That love and hate relationship of being concerned of losing the job you hate.

Where now I incorrectly blame others for my lack of self mastery.

You attract what you are.

Happiness is an inside job.

Won’t happen overnight, but you can change your direction overnight.

The rest is just consistency on your part.

Change begins when you take 100% responsibility of what’s happening around you.

To you.

Through you.

~ Musa