You Are Your Addictions

I’m an impulsive guy and I don’t believe in denying myself of anything I crave.

The one disclaimer is that it shouldn’t come at the expense of others.

A disclaimer I’ve been striving to live up to.

There are urges or repetitive habits we indulge in that makes us all “addicts.”

Phone addicts.

Series addicts.

TV drama addicts.

Music addicts.

Movie addicts.

Download/streaming addicts.

Social media likes.

Partying.

Staying at home.

Alcoholic.

Smoking.

Sex.

Money making.

Money spending.

Action oriented.

Tattoo.

Gym.

Information gathering.

In some shape or form we are all addicted to something.

It comes back to what Mr. Anthony Robbins said about being able to identify the emotional fulfillment you achieve from getting your next “fix”, will help you replace your addiction to one that works for you and not against you.

But I think the first step is to have the emotional intelligence Dr. Stephen R. Covey writes about of being aware of your “addictions”.

And being able to recognize whether they are working for you or not.

Then having the guts to put in the work needed to train your brain, over a period of time, in indulging in those habits (addictions) that will take you ahead in your life.

The things you repeatedly do or repeatedly don’t do, unconsciously and over time is the result of where you are right now.

~ Musa

Who Have You Equipped Today?

So today is yet another day…oh yeah I now remember what I wanted to blog about.

Equipping was a word Dr J. Maxwell taught me in his book, The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership: Follow Them and People Will Follow You.

I didn’t realize the different meaning of the word until he explained it to me.

I won’t be able to re-explain it exactly the way he did, but I’ll try.

Maxwell wrote about how he taught the staff, at his favorite restaurant, how he would like to be served.

It made sense.

I mean, if you value my business, as a patron, then you need to serve me the way I like. So that I can keep me as a customer.

How he would like to be treated from the moment he enters the restaurant, how things should be laid out for him during his stay, all the way up until he leaves.

Maxwell equipped them on how they can better keep him as a customer.

It’s a win-win situation, like Dr. S. Covey described in The 7 Steps to Highly Effective People.

Maxwell has a pleasant experience being services and they get to keep this internationally influential customer under their belt.

I decided to try this “equipping” idea on a colleague.

Integrity is one of my highest values, so when I loan you money and you say you will pay me back tomorrow, only for you to come up with a story when tomorrow comes, it violates one of my highest values.

It’s an insult to me.

And I don’t like to be disrespected.

Respect being another of my other top values.

So I gave it a shot.

My colleague asked for money from me again, and said he will pay me back at theend of our shift.

The time came when the reimbursement was due, and like a creature of habit, he asked if he can pay me tomorrow.

I replied that I could wait for tomorrow.

It caught him by surprise, usually I just say yes and allow people like him to walk all over me.

I didn’t feel like being a doormat that day.

I asked if I heard him right when he said he was going to pay me back at the end of our shift.

He said he did. I then asked what happened.

An question he couldn’t answer.

He proceeded gearing his mind and actions towards paying me back, like he said.

The way he threw the money back in my hands, was not with the same grace I loaned him with.

Which was fine, because it sets up one for two possible future scenarios:

  1. Next time he feels the need to request something from me, he just won’t.
  2. Next time he feels the need to request something from me, he knows he would need to deliver on time.

He has been equipped.

He might try me a few more times so he can try his luck.

I would then need to be consistent with my equipping him.

It puts me in a place of power and control. I hate being reactive.

How about you?

~ Musa

Gangster Letters

LetterHow can I use what I just read to improve my job?

How can I use what I have read to improve on my family life?

How can I use what I’ve read to improve on my income?

How can I use what I’ve gained to improve on my health?

~ Musa

Don’t just read for the sake of it my guy, read to improve on these areas in your life.

That’s what you did with Dr. S. Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

How you tracked your day, hourly even, with what needed to be done per hour… you remember that?

You were Mr Super Effective!

Get that going with what you’re reading now, so to get the ball rolling.

You see were your wife’s thinking is headed? Because she anticipates the future and prepares for it.

Something you were doing before you stopped. Think it’s because you got what you wanted. 

Success stopped you. 

Re-visit this strategy. It worked for you and a lot of things improved.

Like right now.

Things need to improve buddy.

~ G

Habits: They Are Either Making You A Success or A Failure

I read somewhere that “humans are creatures of habit.”

This is evident from the toes I count 5 hours into my evening shift.

Something I told myself I wouldn’t do after going through a bit of Neale Donald Walsch’s “Conversations with God.”

Allowing my working environment to influence me by having negative judgements against it, that is.

By making a judgement on a particular thing, negatively or positively, I am in effect judging myself, negatively or positively.

This is so if I believe in the theory that I am the creator of all the things that I encounter in my life.

It’s like creating a sculptor and saying that “this is a bad sculpture or this sculpture makes me feel drained and depressed”…then it is not the sculpture that is “inadequate” or flawed, but it is the craftsman that is inadequate or flawed.

Now coming back to the period of boredom I encounter 5 hours during my shift…

This is not a true reflection of me.

Musa and boring in the same sentence is not “possible.”

But here I am, at work, counting my toes.

Not literally of course, there’s no need for a strip tease.

I guess a less conscious mind would continue to allow her environment influence her, either than the other way around, with her influencing her environment.

Which was, I have to admit I currently am to some level & working towards the habit of influence, something that I am guilty of during my months prior Sir Richard Branson’s “Screw It, Let’s Do It”

Personal development materials I recommend for you if you seem to be drowning in your own destructive web of thought(s).

– Musawenkosi Tshoaele

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey – Part 2

Update: This is comeback from Part 1.

I don’t want to dwell too much on the man with this post, but if you are really interested in him you can find out more about Stephen R. Covey him on his homepage.

Please take note that these are just notes I found interesting within Stephen Covey’s best seller.

I would recommend you get yourself a copy because my interests might differ from yours.

If you might be reading this from home CNA, or Exclusive Books might have one available for.

If not, try asking one of your family members or your friends’ aunt or try bribing the librarian for a copy…or maybe not.

If all fails my partner in crime – Amazon.com – can meet you desire for this must have inspirational book.

So as promised in my previous post here are the 7 habits by Stephen Covey, put in my own words for better understanding (guess those English classes I took at high school have paid off).

The 7 Habits are as follows:

1. Be Proactive

– To my understanding this means you should rather take action rather than having to make a reaction.

– As in having control of a particular situation, for example, rather having the situation control YOU

2. Begin with the end in mind

– Which I personally believe refers to the power of having a vision , which can be has been well documented by John Assaraf in the May/June 2008 edition of the Succeed Magazine.

3. Put First things First

– This I believe refers to the ability of prioritizing.

– In my cases doing the house chores first before going to check up on the “Mrs.”

4. Think Win Win

– During any interaction one must strive for the “Win Win” principle.

– Walking out of deal were one feels that they have “lost” and the other has “gained” or vise-versa, means you haven’t successfully grasped the concept of this particular principle.

– It’s Win-Win, not Lose-Win or Lose-Lose.

5. Seek first to understand, then to be understood

– …how can I put it?

– Ok let’s say you want to put your point across, it is best to understand the other person (sniffing out the emotion from the issue/concern) before you bring forth your issue/concern to the table.

6. Synergize

– This requires for one not to under perform on any of the above mentioned habits.

7. Sharpen the saw

– This could be explained better in a quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson:

“That which we persist in doing becomes easier – not that the nature of the task has changed, but our ability to do has increased.”

These above mentioned habits are not as simple as I have laid them out here.

Stephen R. Covey has constructed them in a way that Habit 1, 2, and 3 are associated with your Private Victory.

Whereas Habit 4, 5, and 6 are linked to your Public Victory.

“…there is a gap between stimulus & response, and the key to both our growth & happiness is how we use that space.” – Stephen R. Covey.

– Musawenkosi Tshoaele

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey – Part 1


My cousin called me while I was at work this past Thursday.

She disapproved on how I answered my phone:).

She has this vision of my being a humble spirit.

She keeps wondering what happened to the “Musa she knew,” a question I need to find the answer to for both our sakes.

I asked her earlier for her impressions on this blog.

I’m in my 3rd month now and I am looking into improving on it, and getting her comments or advice from her would mean a lot to me.

Since she was the one who introduced the idea that I can create my life through my beliefs and thinking patterns.

So after she complimented my template – which was like someone complimenting the frame of an artist’s painting 😀 – I asked her to read through the content and tell me what I should drop and what I should improve on.

Before she hang up she mentioned something to me that made such an impact , that I am still contemplating on it 4 days later.

She asked me if I knew about a book titled The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

To which I said yes.

And that’s when she said something around the lines of: me being aware of the knowledge one needs to live an amazing and prosperous life but failing to implement it.

That’s when I took an objective look at my life.

I don’t attract the things I want in my life as fast as I would want to because I preach but don’t practice as well as I should…

As soon as I effectively solve these inner discrepancies, I believe I will be a more prosperous man in the long run.

The happier I will then be and it is from this inner happiness that will allow me to be exposed to people and circumstances that will make me an even more happier person.

Act and response.

I will look into sharing extracts from this book written by Dr. Stephen R. Covey – with the intention of motivating you to getting yourself a copy, in a later post.

And also highlight, briefly, what these habits are.

Until then thanks for taking the time to read my efforts, it’s deeply appreciated.

– Musawenkosi Tshoaele

Update: See Part 2 of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey here.