Nothing Beats The Grind

After 2-3 weeks of submitting a minimum of 10 resumes a day, I finally got a job. My fiance’s family fed me during the holidays hustle.

A very humbling experience since I am a prideful man.

I don’t like getting handouts because in my life I’ve come to find that most handouts come with an IOU tag.

I don’t want to be indebted to anyone.

So being in the position I was in, made me grind harder.

I think I sent out those CVs and with me going to interviews between.

Some interviews where scams, some promising. But I kept submitting them promising or not.

Most people start slowling where nearing the finish line.

I slow down once I cross it.

Hell, I even turned to reading the bible.

You know shit’s hit the fan when I pick up “the book.”

It kept me going. That and seeing the unbothered smile on my daughter’s face.

She hit the side of her eye, that one, playing in the playgrounds at cresche.

Had to get stitched. Busy walking around with an eye the size of a golf ball. To put it mildly, she was not impressed seeing the world with one eye.

But I’m glad I was there to assist with the healing process.

But it was her mom that kept me above water mainly. There’s no one I appreciated more, beyond words even, than her, during this period.

I felt stripped of my title as a provider.

As a man, if I cannot provide for my family, what am I?

Feeling lost, going to bed with a broken heart. I was without purpose and I felt depressed.

The need to feel needed by corporate was overwhelming. Which felt like a contradiction because I promote the idea of owning your own business.

A purposeless, non providing, hypocrite of the a man.

And I knew if I start hating myself then there won’t be any improvement in my life.

So I kept my black ass working to keep from thinking negative thoughts.

Because my thinking was shit.

It worked, at face level.

But for lasting results, I need that deep kinda loving.

That only I can provide from the inside out.

The grind paid off.

Now employed on a probationary basis.

Work ethic + being intentional + the law of averages working in my favour produced results.

With prayer and work ethic, something’s got to give.

And it did.

As expected.

~ Musa

PS. This was a delayed post. My baby girl is all healed up now. Mischievous as hell. I wouldn’t want it any other way.

Take Care Of Your Number One Player

I have been writing, it’s just that I haven’t published any of them yet.

Busy out there f***ing shit up.

Mostly in my relationships.

I think my work stats are good.

My spiritual stats are lagging behind.

My physical health stats are in shambles.

I’m busy now seeing how far I can stretch and play around with my relationship stats.

I’m thinking of making new friends, it’s just that I cannot misrepresent myself, for the sake of gaining points with them.

I’m going to be as open as my offline personality is. And whoever bites, bites.

I think I’m too old to be playing make believe so I can be liked.

I just need to take better care of myself, that way I can attract better things in my life.

Like my Twitter crush for example, who inspired me to finally update this blog on our birthday month.

It’s not all gloom and doom.

Self care is essential.

You should try it too.

I love you.

Please forgive me.

I’m sorry.

Thank you.

~ Musa

“Dead Or Alive, You Are Coming With Me.”

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Been having a lot of pent up anger of late.

It compounds.

Lack of sleep.

Haven’t been reading a good book for almost a week now.

Missing out on my daily meditations.

Haven’t been rewriting my goals.

Not been listening to motivational audios.

Skipping motivational & educational videos.

It’s been months since I’ve been visualizing my success.

I haven’t been exercising as much as I did.

Been poorly taking my vitamins and supplements.

All things happening daily, gradually, to a point where I feel exhausted physically and mentally.

Dropping my emotional intelligence.

I’m in the business of where losing your cool would cost you your job.

That love and hate relationship of being concerned of losing the job you hate.

Where now I incorrectly blame others for my lack of self mastery.

You attract what you are.

Happiness is an inside job.

Won’t happen overnight, but you can change your direction overnight.

The rest is just consistency on your part.

Change begins when you take 100% responsibility of what’s happening around you.

To you.

Through you.

~ Musa

You Are What You Accept

4694342-Jay-Z-Quote-Don-t-ever-go-with-the-flow-Be-the-flowYou teach people how you would like to be treated, by how you react to what they say or do.

Either by acceptance of what they do to you or by you reprimanding them.

To correct someone on how you would like to be treated, I believe, comes from raising your standards.

Low standards allows them to continue “taking advantage” of you, while raising them educates them on how you would like to be treated.

It takes courage to put yourself first.

It takes courage futhi to “equip” people on how you like to be treated, in order for them to bring out the best in you.

It’s a win-win.

Reminds me of how I cringe when people organize events at the last minute and expect me to participate.

9 times out of 10 I don’t. If I do, it is with a closed heart.

Give me time to think it over in my mind as a typical melancholy. Don’t pull a sanguine move on me and expect to me to be jolly about it.

But then again I’m an introvert, so being “out there” drains my energy, at times.

I’m just at a point in my life, with all that’s happening, where I cannot “go with the flow” that goes against my core values.

Living a lie is tiring.

There is power outside your comfort zone.

~ Musa

You Need to Be Ok With Yourself First Before Everything Else Can Be Ok

I’m sorry.

Please forgive.

Thank you.

I love you.

These words are part of a sacred Hawaiian Prayer written about in Dr. Hew Len’s & Dr. Joe Vitale’s Zero Limits

It is said that when you repeatedly say these words they some how clean away hurt, pain, negativity in your life.

What?

Just saying a few words “cleans” away negativity in your life?

No.

The cleaning happens within you.

Since you attract everything in your life, it only makes sense that you are the result of everything in your life.

So anything that needs healing in the world means the healing should be within yourself solely.

And once you heal yourself then the world heals.

It might not make logical sense to you.

But it makes complete spiritual sense.

As soon as you get your hands on Zero Limits I’m sure you’ll get what I mean.

I’m sorry.

Please forgive.

Thank you.

I love you.

~ Musawenkosi Tshoaele

PS: When you get the chance, check out their website that “cleans” as you view it over @ http://www.zerolimits.info/

It’s Like A Movie…


…With the sound of lack and limitation screeching in the background

Characters falling in an out of dramas on queue

And still the storyline is maintained

Although the main character fails to realize it

As usual

As if everyone else knows and they keep on gossiping about why the main character hasn’t figured it out yet

“Maybe next week,” they whisper to one another when the camera is not
looking.

“Maybe next week they producer will finally tell the director to tell the writer to include maybe include the lost brother in the script who was separated at birth to come as a teacher and finally tell the main character what the moral
of the story is.”

Even though producer, director, scriptwriter, editor, cameraman and actor all go by the same name.

(c) Musawenkosi Tshoaele