Replace Your S** t Habits With Good Ones

I kept on seeing and hearing the name Simon Sinek being projected in my head.

Simon Sinek.

As if stuck in the frontal lobe of my brain.

Simon Sinek.

All this, haunting, while trying to sleep.

So here I am, writing about him.

I don’t know much about him.

He was first brought to my attention by a business partner who has a background in medicine.

Google Sinek.

From the little I know of him is that he’s a speaker.

He speaks about most about leadership. On what defines a leader and what drives her. Reasons why they are true leaders. Amongst other things.

He’s available on different social media sites, I also follow him on Twitter and IG.

He’s an author as well, he wrote Start With Why.

And there are lots of videos on the ‘Tube that have he’s talks.

I think there’s a vid of one of his talks I posted in one of my blogs that I thought was awesome.

There’s a bias that comes with being a leader that I want to take advantage of.

The monetary benefits of being paid to solve problems being one of them.

It’s as if followers create problems while leaders get paid to solve them.

So I’ve been listening to some of his audios as well. Him, John Maxwell and Gary Vaynerchuk are the 3 guys I’ve been filling my head with of late.

And Eric Thomas. #TGIM

I guess I can be obsessed with certain things in my life, such as my personal development.

If I don’t invest the time for it, noone else will.

Then I will just be like the rest of them, blaming my job or spouse or community or the government or the gods for my current, undesirable situations.

Not realising that the true problem here is me.

I fix me, all else gets fixed.

It’s an inside job.

~ Musa

What Is Love…?

Banner_Backgrounds_questionsMen don’t like talking about their feelings.

Let me not generalize.

I don’t like talking about my feelings.

This pisses Thube off.

Instead of me articualting, with my mouth & voice like a normal person, that Thube on this particular daym the comment you made really upset me.

It stung even more when you kept bringing it up during the course of the day.

Making as if I out to make life difficult for you, which is the last thing I want.

But no.

Musa keeps quiet and walks around moody, being sarcastic and rude to my person.

This is because I associate talking about my feelings as a sign of weakness.

And I don’t want to be seen as weak man in the eyes of my woman.

So I don’t talk about it.

That’s very clever of me.

This obviously drops number of times we have sex because I’m mad at her and she’s not going to reward me with sex for shitty attitude I’ve been giving her.

Ending up with me considering getting it somewhere else, because I am not getting it at home…and it’s her fault…

…Very childish thinking this.

All the while, girl has no clue why I’m being so spiteful during our interactions.

And where do I expect her to quench her sexual needs when I’m being such a dick.

(See what I did there?)

This “weakness” kills relationships.

Well, it’s one of the things that kills relationships…then there’s money…but I digress.

I came to the realization of this story I’ve been telling myself while watching Tony Robbins “I Am Not Your Guru,” on the Netflix that I’ve been trying out with the night time data deals Homecloud is offering.

It gets tiring for Thube, hounding me to voice it out what’s eating at me.

The thought of her one day not coming to me, to “hound me” as I put, to only allow the rift between us grow into having us going our separate paths, shook me up.

Am I willing to have a bitch fit that leads me to losing the mother of my firstborn?

The love of my life.

My best friend.

My wife.

I decided to then drop the story I was telling myself about what my definition of being weak means.

To save my relationship.

By beginning to see communication as an essential element of what makes us a power couple. 51rV-3xwEJL._SX321_BO1,204,203,200_

The more we communicate, the stronger our bond, the more we can fill up each others love tank by communicating better with each others love languages.

The more the sex.

Communication is key.

It’s a difference between having a relationship & having a business transaction.

Because love is communication.

Musa

Being At Fault

argument[1]Need to use a more creative headline.

So I tried this as action suggestions on this “How To Win Friends” book by Dale Carnegie.

About how you know that you are not the one to blame, but you act like you are?

I forgot for what purpose though: conflict avoidance, relationship building.

Either one it’s a win for me.

Usually I come out guns blazing.

I don’t play games.

Listening to some audios or reading helps though, something I haven’t been doing lately.

Long story short, my woman locked me in at our place when she left for work and took my key with as well.

This obviously affected me when it was my turn to go to work for my shift.

I’m so cute…”affected me.”

It pissed me off, that’s how much it affected.

She knows I don’t like it when she locks me in on her way out.

To top it off, she done took my keys with.

So after calm downing, changing my state, I brought this to her attention (via text) and began apologizing.

Firstly, for making it known that I “forgot” to mention how I preferred not being locked in.

Secondly on how I was silly enough to leave the my keys in her car.

And if she can be kind enough to verify if indeed she has them with her.

So tactful I was.

She obviously replied in kind, mentioning how taking my key was not intentional.

Come to think about it, it was an honest mistake.

Just thinking now how I would have made it a huge issue when it wasn’t.

It really wasn’t because we have a sliding door that can be used an an alternative exit.

Thank God.

Heck she was even sweet enough to give me a lift back home when I knocked off.

Positive outcome all the way.

I can only imagine how things would have been if I had let my ego take control.

Sometimes it’s good to take a step back and ask, “What will Love do now?”

I love you.

Thank you.

I’m sorry.

Please forgive me.

~ Musa

The Reason Why You Are Single…According to Tony Robbins

It’s amazing on how one simple strategy can change the way you interact in your relationships.

As opposed to the current one you are using now that is giving you average results.fork-in-the-road-dreams-meaning

Like this one relationship tip Tony Robbins just gave me through a YouTube video titled why are you single.

Mind you I’m not single, I just love learning.

He brought to the surface something I always do…did to my girlfriend.

Maybe you would interpret it differently when you watch the clip, but he showed me how when she’s asking a question, it’s really not about get my opinion on the matter, but more on what she wants to see happen.

And once we discuss and unravel the subject at hand I, as the man in her life, need to take action towards making it happen.

Because women love a man who has a high level of certainty.

I took for granted that my baby wants someone who is certain and decisive.

I also wouldn’t want to have a wimp as a lover.

This information helped me to fulfill the kind of guy I want her to see me as.

Hope you found this useful.

~ Musa

What Makes You Tick??

I don’t have a mean streak.51b2jck12dl-_sx331_bo1204203200_

I have a cold one.

I just don’t like to be bothered, that is why I don’t like bothering other people.

But I hear when it comes to business, since Musa wants to be a business owner – having that kind of attitude limits the people I could serve, which then limits the growth of my business.

Not that I want to be in the business of bothering people but interaction is key in order to leave people with more.

Either through deeds or service rendered.

I’m going off topic now.

Anyways I just realized recently, that one of my highest values is relationships.

It’s integrity and honesty and relationships, my top 3.

Relationship building though is something I’ve been working on since, due to my introverted nature, I don’t socialize much.

That genuine connection that has no T&Cs.

Because according to Florence Littauer I’m a perfect melancholy and part powerful choleric.

That’s the comfort zone I need to slip out from every now and then…most of the time.

Since success lies at the end of your comfort zone.

It’s just that if you violate the 1st two of my top values then it also puts a twist on how I relate to you.

Resulting with me being cagey and cold and distant.

I just fume when I am disrespected, especially since according to my knowledge no disrespect was given to you from my end.

Or yes, let’s add respect as well.

So it’s integrity, honesty, respect and relationships are my top values.

Mess with that then I end up being on the offensive.

It just hit me now, so I thought I should share.

It’s important to know what your values are…the things that makes you tick.

The better you understand yourself, the easier it is for you to express yourself.

Speaking about knowing thy self, my recommended read for you today is Personality Plus a book by Florence Littauer – which is a great book about different personality types and how you can communicate and better understand and communicate with them.

It’s awesome if you want to improve the quality of your relationships at home, work, school and your every day run ins.

Thank you.

I’m sorry.

Please forgive me.

I love you.

~ Musa

The Resolution of Love

Waiting for the guy who is going to cut my hair to be done with styling two ladies.

So much work goes into installing a dead person’s hair on your head…only to see it get worn out and itch.

The outcome makes it worth the effort though if you are for that kind of thing.

Was thinking of bailing out and going back to the room that I’m renting, but decided against it because of who I will find waiting for me there.

Relationships can be exhausting, sometimes.

Maybe I’m just looking at this from a flawed perspective.

Especially when both parties do not communicate their vision.

People see things differently.

Not communicating these differences might even lead to fights.

And end up listening to meaningless conversations with people who are having other dead people’s hair being pasted on top of their natural hair, because of avoiding the one person you claim to love more than the rest…

As Neale Donald Walsch of the “Conversations with God” series put it, ask yourself: “What would love do now?”

Communicate more about our beliefs and how we would like things to be so to spend less time arguing for one.

A simple thing to do if we put our pride/ego on hold until progress towards finding a resolution has been initiated.

And that is my lifetime resolution.

Happy New Year.

I love you.

Thank you.

I’m sorry.

Please forgive me.

~ Musawenkosi Tshoaele