It’s A Phase Until It Becomes Intentional

The falling in love phase is so exciting.

Thrilling.

Passionate.

The longing to meet each other.

Most lovers base their decision to marry while in that phase.

A phase that will end.

And right then, when the euphoria of falling in love has dissipated and when love is not as automatic.

When your love for one another must be intentional, that’s when the rubber meets the road.

You need to work.

Work is love.

Love is work.

Now you have to be conscious of what your partner really likes, what really fills her love tank.

And you have to start speaking their love language.

Failure to do so, will result in resentment, that compounds until what your version of “happily ever after” becomes but a dream.

Leading to breaks ups.

Reminds me of this great guy who was madly in love with this cool girl.

Going out for dates, presents where bought, vacations (baecations) were taken.

An absolutely fabulous relationship.

Or so I thought.

The moment this great guy lost his job and his car, cool girl broke up with him.

Even though they were engaged.

She wasn’t going to receive the kind of love she’s grown used to, so she dropped him.

Because great guy was now trash, you see?

Great guy managed to pick himself up, financially as well.

Cool girl now wants great guy back.

Because he is now capable of loving her in her love language now.

Love is not only a feeling, but the conscious willingness to feel each other’s love tank.

It’s intentional.

You fuck that up and you’re fucked.

That is why you find people going from one relationship to another, high from the falling in love phase.

Once the high leaves their veins they jump to another relationship and on to the next trip.

~ Musa

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Aluta Continua

South Africa has been hit by a series of violence of late.

There have been xenophobic attacks.

I’m sure Twitter and YouTube will give you enough clips that will give you an idea of what has been happening.

What’s more painful have been the brutal violence and rape against South African women and children.

Every year around Women’s Month in August, this happens.

It’s as if all year round, nothing happens in relation to this, then come August…

…where the focus should be on celebrating women, we take a detour and focus on rape and femicide. Something that should be addressed daily.

It’s so fucked how the women are inconsolable.

It reminded me of a friend who was in an abusive relationship but did not have the strength to leave, at the time.

She eventually did.

Just like my mom.

The abuse she endured (emotionally and physically) led her leaving an environment that was constantly attacking her.

I used to blame her for leaving us (me and sister).

But now I see that it wasn’t an easy decision for her to make.

And while my world was on fire this past week, I was walking through it being reminded of my experiences with it.

Too relatable, and very close to home.

When even our own country banned…silenced those that tried to speak up about it.

It’s disgusting.

It angers me.

And self defeating.

It’s not acceptable.

It’s not normal.

You deserve better.

I pray that the exposure this is getting will give other women to find within themselves, the strength to leave abusive relationships.

The strength the women I referred to found through their children and the latter through her faith.

I’m sorry.

Please forgive me.

Thank you.

I love you.

~ Musa

“The Longest Distance Between Two Points Is A Shortcut.”

Garyvee asked: “What if today was the last day of your life?”

“How would you spend it?”

Good question.

I don’t know, honestly.

Maybe I would spending it with people I love or maybe I’ll be writing about something.

Like I am now.

But what if today was the last day of your life, how would you spend it?

Some live for the now.

Not giving AF about tomorrow.

The microwave society.

The instant society.

There are some instances when things need to be done with a sense of urgency.

Just not all the time, though.

Life is not a status update…

…So says the guy who’s about to update his blog right?

What I mean to say is that the best things take time.

And in the same breath, it is good to have a sense of urgency every now and again.

When do you apply speed and when do you slow down?

That I cannot say.

Some things you need to experience first-hand so you can use your experience to help you make better life decisions.

You cannot live your best life through your screen.

TV screen.

Laptop screen.

Computer screen.

Tablet screen.

Phone screen.

All mental prisons.

So to answer Gary’s question, I’ll spend less time on the screen and more time with building myself.

Feeding my soul doing what I love and spending time with those that I love.

How about you?

~ Musa

Take Care Of Your Number One Player

I have been writing, it’s just that I haven’t published any of them yet.

Busy out there f***ing shit up.

Mostly in my relationships.

I think my work stats are good.

My spiritual stats are lagging behind.

My physical health stats are in shambles.

I’m busy now seeing how far I can stretch and play around with my relationship stats.

I’m thinking of making new friends, it’s just that I cannot misrepresent myself, for the sake of gaining points with them.

I’m going to be as open as my offline personality is. And whoever bites, bites.

I think I’m too old to be playing make believe so I can be liked.

I just need to take better care of myself, that way I can attract better things in my life.

Like my Twitter crush for example, who inspired me to finally update this blog on our birthday month.

It’s not all gloom and doom.

Self care is essential.

You should try it too.

I love you.

Please forgive me.

I’m sorry.

Thank you.

~ Musa

You Want My Relationship Advice?

Let me start off by saying that relationships are funny.

Not funny “haha” but funny “ya neh.”

You’ll never get it right, all the time, 100% of the time.

I’m just thankful for the educational program I was on, with books and CDS on what relationships work.

Especially introducing me to books like Personality Plus and The 5 Love Languages, in that order preferably.eysenck

The way I was effing things up in my relationship with Thube, I’m not sure why she stuck with me for so long.

But those books helped me understand her and her, me.

Maybe the one thing we had going for us was that we both wanted us to work.

Even though I was sabotaging the relationship from the fear of losing someone who made me feel so good.

Let me explain:

Growing up, I taught myself not to be attached to events or things that made me feel good.

Because there was no guarantee that I was going to get them again.

Sometimes the parents had to work their butts off so my sister and I can have a taste of the good life.

So when good came in our household – in whatever form – I registered them as temporary.

I should expect a retake for a while, if ever.

Because I’m a clingy and sensitive SOB.

So enter Thube.

The name of that chapter in my life would be “The Psychologist.”

She flirted herself into a now 13 year relationship with me, that one.2013-03-01_1244_thumb-590x400

It’s only in the past year or so that I’m STARTING to understand what makes her tick.

My love for knowledge and how things work makes this an infinite game.

I love games.

So I always try to improve where I can.

And that’s why I speak so highly about those books.

They definitely helped me understand myself better.

It helped me understand her better.

But I had to be open and be vulnerable first.

Something society sees as “unmanly.”

And as a chauvinist, humbling myself and practicing mutual respect is still a work in progress for me.

~ Musa

I Don’t Want To Be An Entrepreneur

That N word is such a burden.

It’s a cute thing to add on my social media bio that: “I’m an Entrepreneur.”

But truth of the matter is I’m on my PlayStation, while posting such on my Twitter page.

Have people thinking Musa is on “the grind.”

Kanti kuphi lapho…

Trying to promote an illusion on FaceBook, having people into thinking that you’ve got game…sh** like that will catch up to you.

Yes, I was on that stock market trading tip then the internet marketing grind. After that then it’s was the full time direct sales gig and what else…oh yeah, network marketing.

And in between that stuff, it was a 9-5.

It’s just there’s so much respect that I have for people who really run their business. Small business that they didn’t inherent. That seeing people claiming what they aren’t irks me.

It’s as if they are disrespecting the people who really are.

The businesswomen & businessmen who make those hard decisions like:

The Dream or the relationship.

Pay rent or the staff.

Full 9 hours sleep of guaranteed monthly salary or those sleepless nights not knowing whether the client will pay up on not.

People, a small percentage, really hustle out there hey?

Too busy to be posting motivational memes every 3 minutes on IG.

Success is boring.

Success is slow.

Success is consistency.

Success is long-term.

Success is worth it.

Social media allows you to post things that aren’t true.

But like all things, the truth shall out.

Live an honest life bud.

My take…I don’t want to be getting my money from only one income source.

I don’t think that makes me an entrepreneur. Or does it?

Coz that’s my endgame…

…hold up come I google.

Entrepreneur…

a person who sets up a business or businesses, taking on financial risks in the hope of profit.
“many entrepreneurs see potential in this market”

synonyms: businessman, businesswoman, business person, business executive, enterpriser, speculator, tycoon, magnate; More

  • a promoter in the entertainment industry.

    “the music entrepreneur pulled back from financing a screenplay Hopper had written”

Shoot, then that means anyone can be an entrepreneur.

But those that do the work become successful entrepreneurs… Eventually.

It compounds.

Needed to put that disclaimer there.

And that’s the rub, being successful.

You need to work.

Taking the hits of becoming good at your niche, there’s no smooth sailing in this game.

Being embrassed for a few years that will set you up for life.

You either keep getting knocked around & being made someone’s bitch at your job or learn how to make something of your life.

Even Thokozane outlined on a tweet I retweeted #NoExcuses.

You need courage & mentoring if you are looking for additional sources of income that will eventually free you from a job.

Either that or keep complaining about your BS job.

You are worth more than than s*** job you are 10 seconds away from being fired from.

You weren’t raised to be someone’s bitch.

chihuahua-running-outside

Don’t be an entrepreneur.

Be a successful one.

No matter how long it takes.

Or die trying.

I don’t want to be an entrepreneur. But I want to be a hustler. For my family but more importantly for my well-being.

Go to where you are valued. If that means getting a job then go for it.

Financially it doesn’t make sense to me to only rely on one source of income.

That’s financial suicide.

~ Musa

Replace Your S** t Habits With Good Ones

I kept on seeing and hearing the name Simon Sinek being projected in my head.

Simon Sinek.

As if stuck in the frontal lobe of my brain.

Simon Sinek.

All this, haunting, while trying to sleep.

So here I am, writing about him.

I don’t know much about him.

He was first brought to my attention by a business partner who has a background in medicine.

Google Sinek.

From the little I know of him is that he’s a speaker.

He speaks about most about leadership. On what defines a leader and what drives her. Reasons why they are true leaders. Amongst other things.

He’s available on different social media sites, I also follow him on Twitter and IG.

He’s an author as well, he wrote Start With Why.

And there are lots of videos on the ‘Tube that have he’s talks.

I think there’s a vid of one of his talks I posted in one of my blogs that I thought was awesome.

There’s a bias that comes with being a leader that I want to take advantage of.

The monetary benefits of being paid to solve problems being one of them.

It’s as if followers create problems while leaders get paid to solve them.

So I’ve been listening to some of his audios as well. Him, John Maxwell and Gary Vaynerchuk are the 3 guys I’ve been filling my head with of late.

And Eric Thomas. #TGIM

I guess I can be obsessed with certain things in my life, such as my personal development.

If I don’t invest the time for it, noone else will.

Then I will just be like the rest of them, blaming my job or spouse or community or the government or the gods for my current, undesirable situations.

Not realising that the true problem here is me.

I fix me, all else gets fixed.

It’s an inside job.

~ Musa