Who Have You Equipped Today?

So today is yet another day…oh yeah I now remember what I wanted to blog about.

Equipping was a word Dr J. Maxwell taught me in his book, The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership: Follow Them and People Will Follow You.

I didn’t realize the different meaning of the word until he explained it to me.

I won’t be able to re-explain it exactly the way he did, but I’ll try.

Maxwell wrote about how he taught the staff, at his favorite restaurant, how he would like to be served.

It made sense.

I mean, if you value my business, as a patron, then you need to serve me the way I like. So that I can keep me as a customer.

How he would like to be treated from the moment he enters the restaurant, how things should be laid out for him during his stay, all the way up until he leaves.

Maxwell equipped them on how they can better keep him as a customer.

It’s a win-win situation, like Dr. S. Covey described in The 7 Steps to Highly Effective People.

Maxwell has a pleasant experience being services and they get to keep this internationally influential customer under their belt.

I decided to try this “equipping” idea on a colleague.

Integrity is one of my highest values, so when I loan you money and you say you will pay me back tomorrow, only for you to come up with a story when tomorrow comes, it violates one of my highest values.

It’s an insult to me.

And I don’t like to be disrespected.

Respect being another of my other top values.

So I gave it a shot.

My colleague asked for money from me again, and said he will pay me back at theend of our shift.

The time came when the reimbursement was due, and like a creature of habit, he asked if he can pay me tomorrow.

I replied that I could wait for tomorrow.

It caught him by surprise, usually I just say yes and allow people like him to walk all over me.

I didn’t feel like being a doormat that day.

I asked if I heard him right when he said he was going to pay me back at the end of our shift.

He said he did. I then asked what happened.

An question he couldn’t answer.

He proceeded gearing his mind and actions towards paying me back, like he said.

The way he threw the money back in my hands, was not with the same grace I loaned him with.

Which was fine, because it sets up one for two possible future scenarios:

  1. Next time he feels the need to request something from me, he just won’t.
  2. Next time he feels the need to request something from me, he knows he would need to deliver on time.

He has been equipped.

He might try me a few more times so he can try his luck.

I would then need to be consistent with my equipping him.

It puts me in a place of power and control. I hate being reactive.

How about you?

~ Musa

Advertisements

Celebrate Your “Little Wins”

I’ve been having subtle wins this year, and I haven’t been sharing them on my blog.

I’m sorry about that.

The diagnosis for my daughter has been taking most of my energy.

I’m not the first or the last to have given birth to a child with special needs. This whole experience has changed my perspective about people with disorders.

It made me appreciate those who care for them even more. It was more of the mental work I was going through, more than anything else, that has me reeling.

I shared with a friend how I have mixed emotions about where I am right now, in my life.

Feelings of shame, regret, anxiety, depression, overwhelm, anger, blame, joy, happiness, pride, excitement, significance, responsibility, humility.

But the very first of the emotions I felt when I got the news was denial.

“She’s just a child.”

“She’ll eventually start speaking soon. Maybe when she turns 4.”

“Children are supposed to be hyper active, they are young.”

But getting a diagnosis from a speech therapist, as well as an occupational therapist, as well as a neuro-paediatrician, all coming to the same autistic conclusion, can’t be disputed.

My ignorance of this disorder, the fear of this unknown, a fear I couldn’t run from, led me to fighting it. This prolonged the therapy necessary to better manage the condition, unnecessarily.

Did you know that there is an autism spectrum?

Where they decide how severe the autism is?

What is autism?

The brochure I got from the counselling we got from, Gloria, the lady that runs Autism South Africa says:

“An Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is a lifelong condition that affects the way a person communicated and relates to people around them.

People with an ASD have difficulty on relating to others in a meaningful way.

Their ability to develop friendships is generally limited as is their capacity to understand other people’s emotional expression.

Some people, but not all, have accompanying learning disabilities.

All people with an ASD have impairments in social interaction, social communication and imagination.…”

It’s like learning a new language this thing.

How I relate to her to how I thought I would relate to her, to how I should.

She’s a toddler, sommer needs to add that to the mix as well.

So the majority of my year has been finding coping mechanisms.

Some healthy, most…not so healthy.

But the bottom line is how all my energies were focused in that area of my life, and this led to me neglecting this blog.

Bringing me back to this update.

I’ve been rewriting my goals down almost every day.

(It should be every day I know, but I’m working on it.)

So, with me silently working on attracting these things on my goal list, however improbable, I have managed to achieve some of them.

I was just testing a theory that Napoleon Hill’s Law of Success: The 21st-Century Edition documented.

I wanted my fiancé’s car to be settled. We had another year to go until that was going to happen.

I hate waiting, and the persistent calls she was getting from the bank asking her to make payment for it was draining both our energies.

Guess what, after about 4 months of me writing this as one of my goals, unbeknownst to her, she managed to attract the funds to have the car settled last month!

What are the chances that something I was writing about achieving, without her knowing, could really come true just like that!!

Another of my “little wins” was how I managed to get my phone back from the repair guy.

The iPad my daughter shattered was also repaired.

We were gifted 2 Nutrilite Omega 3 packs, which I also had on my list. I actually had one, but the universe – through Dr York Liu, gave us 2.

I needed a new Hymm Shaving Razor. Which we got as well.

Small things that I’ve been writing about, without anyone knowing, are coming into my life.

Through various and interesting ways. Wins that need to be celebrated, especially how the car got settled.

That is brilliance at its best.

But more importantly, it’s the way that these goals have been attracted that gives me hope and hopefully, courage to ask for bigger goals.

You should give it a go.

~ Musa

How Will Failure Overtake You?

It has come to my experience that when you are working towards your goals, don’t stop your grind just because you see an inkling of your efforts bearing fruit.

You stand the chance of losing your momentum.

And having momentum is one of the key factors that add to your success.

Keeping in mind that for you to gain momentum, you would have to be doing something consistently, for a long period of time.

Consistent action towards a particular goal will, eventually, produce results.

That means you need to start first by having a goal to work towards.

I just reversed engineered the process for you.

Just don’t start celebrating too early.

Counting chickens before the hatch?

Nothing is more self defeating than to have success elude you because you saw promising results. That makes you take your foot off the paddle.

If it’s not in black and white, then it’s only smoke.

Keep grinding.

Keep sowing.

Only when you have success in your hands, is it true success.

Not before then, not really.

I think we get tired of the process.

The struggle of success as Napoleon Hill puts it.

Stay in the process.

Let the process mold you into the person you need to become…so you can attract the things you want.

You need to be an attractive person.

And the process is what’s going to make you this attractive person.

The burn, the struggle, the process will make you easier to mold.

I think that’s where phrases like staying out of the kitchen, if you can’t take the heat comes from.

Failure will overtake you right at the finish line if you celebrate too early.

~ Musa

Be The Best, Especially When They Are Not Looking

I saw this cool thing while browsing the UFC videos on facebook.

There was a backstage interview they did.

Where a current fighter was giving props to a retired mma fighter.

Sometimes what you do inspires others.

Even when you’re not noticing that you are.

These days people only do good if someone is recording a video of them doing so.

It’s quite sad.

As if to say if noone sees the good I’m doing, then what’s the point.

Got to get those likes, you see?

So my plea is to do good.

Especially when no one’s looking.

Try to be the best version of yourself.

Whether there’s a phone recording you or not.

Try to be the best version of yourself, even if your current environment is trying to choke that out of you.

~ Musa‎

What Peak Performers Do In The Morning That You Might Not Be Doing…

The way I’m driving what little traffic I have to his YouTube page, one might think he’s paying me to do it.

I don’t know much about Ed Mylett.

But of what little I know, was shared on an interview I stumbled over, that you can access through one of my posts here.

~ Musa

Morning Meetings with Sethu

When it’s my turn to take my 2 year old to daycare, we drive by the cemetery.

I point to it, and tell my little Viking, strapped in her baby seat, that we are all going to end up here.

And so we must live the best life we can.

Like the good doctor said,

“don’t die with your music inside you.”

My version to that was, don’t be anyone’s bitch.

But I think I’ll wait until she’s older, like when she’s 3 maybe, before I use that language with her.

Until then, don’t die with your music inside you.

~ Musa

“Dead Or Alive, You Are Coming With Me.”

loopable-ekg-line-ekg-monitor-ekg-machine-heart-health-blue-ecg-monitor-shows-healthy-heart-beat-seamless-loop_sfw_cr5e__F0002

Been having a lot of pent up anger of late.

It compounds.

Lack of sleep.

Haven’t been reading a good book for almost a week now.

Missing out on my daily meditations.

Haven’t been rewriting my goals.

Not been listening to motivational audios.

Skipping motivational & educational videos.

It’s been months since I’ve been visualizing my success.

I haven’t been exercising as much as I did.

Been poorly taking my vitamins and supplements.

All things happening daily, gradually, to a point where I feel exhausted physically and mentally.

Dropping my emotional intelligence.

I’m in the business of where losing your cool would cost you your job.

That love and hate relationship of being concerned of losing the job you hate.

Where now I incorrectly blame others for my lack of self mastery.

You attract what you are.

Happiness is an inside job.

Won’t happen overnight, but you can change your direction overnight.

The rest is just consistency on your part.

Change begins when you take 100% responsibility of what’s happening around you.

To you.

Through you.

~ Musa