Christmas & Autism

Yesterday was crazy (25/12/2019).

It was a family function, and unlike the wedding trip we took with my Omu who is autistic, this time it was a Christmas family gathering.

With her sensory overloads and hyperactivity, it was difficult doing my best to manage her. But more importantly I also had to manage my emotions as well.

Especially with the “abantu bazo thini” (what will people say) pull going.

We are also giving her CBD Oil, two 0.25 mg drops of it.

One at 7am.

The second at 7pm.

All in the name of better helping her manage this special technique most call autism.

Especially when it comes to reducing anxiety.

We were on risperdal before, to reduce how her brain keeps firing which increases her hyperactivity.

So this change of medication added with attending a family function was obviously going to make this “try out” day an eventful one.

My Omu is 3 years of age and is particular in what she likes. Strict maybe. Borderline obsessive?

And she will keep playing repeatedly once she finds something new to play with, like repeatedly.

Did I say she enjoys repetitive play?

New things that she can predict or control their outcome brings her as sense of calmness or peace, perhaps?

Whatever she gains from it, she will keep stimulating that dopamine hit for as long as she can.

Things got intense when the pool was involved.

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My daughter loves water guys.

So the family that was hosting us had a big people pool but also got a kiddies pool as well.

She got in the kiddies pool with a life jacket we had borrowed from her cousin (just in case she decided to be adventurous and run into the big pool).

She was in there with her cousin, then her mom decided to join them.

Good times.

Splashing away and all, but her mom was controlling the amount of splashes so that Omu can still have fun, but to also manage the intensity of the fun so our baby doesn’t get too overstimulated. Yeah, it’s a big thing in the Autism world.

Over stimulation upset her. See this vid to see what I mean.

That’s her standing because she loved the splashes but it was a bit overwhelming and at the same time she was really enjoying herself, that’s why she’s still in the pool and didn’t run out.

It’s was beautiful.

Until my baby started shivering.

A World War was going to begin, because you remember I told you she likes repetitive play?

So “evil” dad and “evil” mom had to stop the fun she was having, for the sake of her health.

To her, the unexpected interruption of her play, made her go berserk.

Some were concerned, and only a couple of her aunt’s tried to help. She was having a full swing meltdown.

This is the first time they saw her act this way in real time.

We forgot how sudden changes make her upset, and now since she’s non-verbal, her way of communicating her distress is through throwing a tantrum.

Or is it a meltdown? I need to find what the difference is.

The specialist suggested we give her a heads up before time we change from one activity to another.

Preparing her, or even doing a countdown like as in telling her that in 5 minutes time, we would need to stop playing with water because we are getting cold.

So that it doesn’t come as a shock to her.

Another challenge was that her other cousins were still having fun playing and yet we wanted her to stop.

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The injustice of it all, could have been another contributing factor to her protest.

I took her out, kicking and screaming and slapping, only for her to move over to the big people pool.

Joy…

Also filled with the older kids having fun there, making it even more desirable for my sensory seeking little Beasty.

Had to negotiate with her because se was standing at the edge of the deep end of the pool, while we were following her around, so I moved her to the steps at the entrance.

I got in with casual my shorts and all, so I could ensure her safety.

See, even though there were people that could have watch over her in the pool, I decided to go in with her because we’re so used to not relying much on people when it comes to her care and safety.

You should have seen her dip her one foot in, then out again.

Getting the feel of the water texture and temp.

Then she tried it with her other foot, and out again.

So fucken cute that was.

Eventually she got both in.

And all else was a blur. She was my world.

Nothing else existed.

Baby was getting the shivers again.

Lucky, the backyard had a mini play area. So I took her there to sort of “quarantine” her.

So it was a mini picnic of sorts.

Not a bad Christmas at all, even though we had to fight whenever she wanted to go back to the where all the fun was.

The day taught me a lot.

Tiring as it was.

Sometimes I need to let her discover the world her way and not be too much of a prison guard.

I also saw a lot of me in her as well.

Which is very fascinating.

Her mom did a lot of damage control in the background and made the day a success.

She does most of the work when it comes to raising Omu so she did deserve a break for the day.

Me and Omuhle Siphosethu Tshoaele wouldn’t be where we are without her.

As nerve-wrecking as it was, it was a good day.

Hiding her from the world doesn’t makes sense.

Reminds me of that Float movie on Disney+.

~ Musa

Your Are What You Eat…”Empty” Food And All…

I now remember what I wanted to write about.Resize

It’s not what I really wanted to write about though, but it will have to do for now.

Up until I have the guts to vent like I should.

I’m being a typical man and I’m not talking about what really ails me.

I think because we “men” don’t talk much.

It’s stuff like that that leads to depression hey?

“Vitamins” was what I wanted to talk about.

The best I’ve had being from Nutrilite.

I used to take them to supplement the “empty” food we are now being sold.

Food that’s missing the organic, nutrition and minerals our bodies needs to function fully.s-l400

These missing elements that we don’t find in our food I feel adds to the cause of my generation breeding children with disorders, this is my non-academic opinion.

But I am not an expert researcher on disorders and their link to the current artificial foods we are eating.

I’m just stating the difference you will feel being on supplements and vitamins, and then being off them…it’s a HUGE difference.

aul2127.pngAnd I need to get my fix.

Food suppliers are competing against one another with producing food products that they need to push out as quickly as possible, in order to be competitive.

The faster the food reaches us, the better for them.

Meaning that most food products need to be artificially grown at an unnatural pace to meet these deadlines.

We end up eating artificial food and their chemicals, that in the long run are not good for our bodies.

These chemicals compound and mutate.b5d3ca119c78554e3b905208db35578b.jpg

Fusing to our DNA and if we, the consumers, don’t feel the full effects of them, the next generation will.

Hence the uprising of children born with disorders or disabilities…maybe.

Organic supplements that help with mental fatigue, and increase your energy levels, some cleanse of your blood vessels, others boost your iron and immune system.

Some people cannot drink milk but need to strengthening their bone, hence they take calcium supplements to help with that.

Because at the end of the day humans need to eat food, but due to what the food lacks we need to supplement that gap.

To better improve our health but more importantly to benefit our future seeds.

~ Musa

 

Celebrate Your “Little Wins”

I’ve been having subtle wins this year, and I haven’t been sharing them on my blog.

I’m sorry about that.

The diagnosis for my daughter has been taking most of my energy.

I’m not the first or the last to have given birth to a child with special needs. This whole experience has changed my perspective about people with disorders.

It made me appreciate those who care for them even more. It was more of the mental work I was going through, more than anything else, that has me reeling.

I shared with a friend how I have mixed emotions about where I am right now, in my life.

Feelings of shame, regret, anxiety, depression, overwhelm, anger, blame, joy, happiness, pride, excitement, significance, responsibility, humility.

But the very first of the emotions I felt when I got the news was denial.

“She’s just a child.”

“She’ll eventually start speaking soon. Maybe when she turns 4.”

“Children are supposed to be hyper active, they are young.”

But getting a diagnosis from a speech therapist, as well as an occupational therapist, as well as a neuro-paediatrician, all coming to the same autistic conclusion, can’t be disputed.

My ignorance of this disorder, the fear of this unknown, a fear I couldn’t run from, led me to fighting it. This prolonged the therapy necessary to better manage the condition, unnecessarily.

Did you know that there is an autism spectrum?

Where they decide how severe the autism is?

What is autism?

The brochure I got from the counselling we got from, Gloria, the lady that runs Autism South Africa says:

“An Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is a lifelong condition that affects the way a person communicated and relates to people around them.

People with an ASD have difficulty on relating to others in a meaningful way.

Their ability to develop friendships is generally limited as is their capacity to understand other people’s emotional expression.

Some people, but not all, have accompanying learning disabilities.

All people with an ASD have impairments in social interaction, social communication and imagination.…”

It’s like learning a new language this thing.

How I relate to her to how I thought I would relate to her, to how I should.

She’s a toddler, sommer needs to add that to the mix as well.

So the majority of my year has been finding coping mechanisms.

Some healthy, most…not so healthy.

But the bottom line is how all my energies were focused in that area of my life, and this led to me neglecting this blog.

Bringing me back to this update.

I’ve been rewriting my goals down almost every day.

(It should be every day I know, but I’m working on it.)

So, with me silently working on attracting these things on my goal list, however improbable, I have managed to achieve some of them.

I was just testing a theory that Napoleon Hill’s Law of Success: The 21st-Century Edition documented.

I wanted my fiancé’s car to be settled. We had another year to go until that was going to happen.

I hate waiting, and the persistent calls she was getting from the bank asking her to make payment for it was draining both our energies.

Guess what, after about 4 months of me writing this as one of my goals, unbeknownst to her, she managed to attract the funds to have the car settled last month!

What are the chances that something I was writing about achieving, without her knowing, could really come true just like that!!

Another of my “little wins” was how I managed to get my phone back from the repair guy.

The iPad my daughter shattered was also repaired.

We were gifted 2 Nutrilite Omega 3 packs, which I also had on my list. I actually had one, but the universe – through Dr York Liu, gave us 2.

I needed a new Hymm Shaving Razor. Which we got as well.

Small things that I’ve been writing about, without anyone knowing, are coming into my life.

Through various and interesting ways. Wins that need to be celebrated, especially how the car got settled.

That is brilliance at its best.

But more importantly, it’s the way that these goals have been attracted that gives me hope and hopefully, courage to ask for bigger goals.

You should give it a go.

~ Musa

Just Peachy….

I was on Facebook with it’s FB memories reminders.

That seems to be the only thing I update on Facebook, come to think of it.

Meaning next year I will be reminded about the memories FB reminded me of today.

Nothing new under the sun.

Went emo couple of days back with the blog I published.

That day sucked, but I’ve had worse.

The morning sex usually helps with improving my mood.

But my partner in crime was not available for the joint venture so I turned to food. I was out of beer.

Self gratification gives me minimal pleasure. Not as satisfying as the excitement I get in conquering the female body into orgasm…I digress.

So I took baby girl to daycare in the morning.

Did the dishes.

Took a nap.

Bathed and headed for work.

I took the time I spent offline focusing on what’s going right, even though the world is on fire around me.

Reminds me of that hell scene when John Constantine went for a quick peek in that Constantine movie.

Things could be better, yes, but bitching about them won’t change them much.

Sometimes the discomfort you are experiencing now is nudging you forward, not backward.

Busy praying for deliverance from your current unhappiness but you’re not happy with the process it takes for your prayer to be answered.

S*** will always hit the fan. Even more so when change is coming.

Think it’s a matter of riding it out. But to always keep your eyes on the price.

That’s why goals are important.

Without them, what’s the point of living?

~ Musa

Replace Your S** t Habits With Good Ones

I kept on seeing and hearing the name Simon Sinek being projected in my head.

Simon Sinek.

As if stuck in the frontal lobe of my brain.

Simon Sinek.

All this, haunting, while trying to sleep.

So here I am, writing about him.

I don’t know much about him.

He was first brought to my attention by a business partner who has a background in medicine.

Google Sinek.

From the little I know of him is that he’s a speaker.

He speaks about most about leadership. On what defines a leader and what drives her. Reasons why they are true leaders. Amongst other things.

He’s available on different social media sites, I also follow him on Twitter and IG.

He’s an author as well, he wrote Start With Why.

And there are lots of videos on the ‘Tube that have he’s talks.

I think there’s a vid of one of his talks I posted in one of my blogs that I thought was awesome.

There’s a bias that comes with being a leader that I want to take advantage of.

The monetary benefits of being paid to solve problems being one of them.

It’s as if followers create problems while leaders get paid to solve them.

So I’ve been listening to some of his audios as well. Him, John Maxwell and Gary Vaynerchuk are the 3 guys I’ve been filling my head with of late.

And Eric Thomas. #TGIM

I guess I can be obsessed with certain things in my life, such as my personal development.

If I don’t invest the time for it, noone else will.

Then I will just be like the rest of them, blaming my job or spouse or community or the government or the gods for my current, undesirable situations.

Not realising that the true problem here is me.

I fix me, all else gets fixed.

It’s an inside job.

~ Musa

“Death Be Not Proud”

Having a job is such a fleeting thing because you don’t control over that shit.

Making sure you don’t step on people’s toes, keeping your head down for fear of being sacked.

That’s not making a living.

That’s making a dying.

~ Musa

A Business Like No Other…

new-mlm-companiesI think network marketing levels the playing field.

I could be wrong, it’s just my observation.

From my limited observation, businesses are handed over from generation to generation.

The only legacy I’ve seen being left the masses is poverty.

Some families are brought up with the option of aspiring to be business owner, while other families are sold the idea of becoming employees or self employed.

Asking the government to fix this in the form of land distribution, for instance, is as effective as the removal of our now current President from office.

But network marketing nullifies this dependent mindset.

The right one also offers you training and mentorship on how to succeed by also developing a business owner mindset.

But the best ones allow for your network marketing business to be passed on from generation to generation, just like these families I spoke of earlier.

With the right training to develop your skills, I believe anyone can succeed in what they put their minds to.

Multi level marketing included.

One of the hiccups I have with conventional business is the start up capital, amongst other uncertainties.

But obviously if you are committed enough and want it badly enough then you can find solutions around that.

I guess one chooses ones battles.

With me preferring minimum start up capital.

Minimal operational costs.

No overhead.picture2

With some part time but consistent work ethic, the results are predictable.

Results that can supplement my current salary.

Results that can be on par with my current salary.

Results that can eclipse my current salary.

A business like no other.

Look as a disclaimer, anything legit that allows you to make extra income is great.

Be it MLMs or another job or part time gig or strip joints.

I’m just talking about what I’m exposed to.

Do you due dilengece.

This working you way up to your salary month end only to start at zero the following month, is insane.

But most of us are doing it so it’s ok right?

I don’t think so.

~ Musa