Nothing Beats The Grind

After 2-3 weeks of submitting a minimum of 10 resumes a day, I finally got a job. My fiance’s family fed me during the holidays hustle.

A very humbling experience since I am a prideful man.

I don’t like getting handouts because in my life I’ve come to find that most handouts come with an IOU tag.

I don’t want to be indebted to anyone.

So being in the position I was in, made me grind harder.

I think I sent out those CVs and with me going to interviews between.

Some interviews where scams, some promising. But I kept submitting them promising or not.

Most people start slowling where nearing the finish line.

I slow down once I cross it.

Hell, I even turned to reading the bible.

You know shit’s hit the fan when I pick up “the book.”

It kept me going. That and seeing the unbothered smile on my daughter’s face.

She hit the side of her eye, that one, playing in the playgrounds at cresche.

Had to get stitched. Busy walking around with an eye the size of a golf ball. To put it mildly, she was not impressed seeing the world with one eye.

But I’m glad I was there to assist with the healing process.

But it was her mom that kept me above water mainly. There’s no one I appreciated more, beyond words even, than her, during this period.

I felt stripped of my title as a provider.

As a man, if I cannot provide for my family, what am I?

Feeling lost, going to bed with a broken heart. I was without purpose and I felt depressed.

The need to feel needed by corporate was overwhelming. Which felt like a contradiction because I promote the idea of owning your own business.

A purposeless, non providing, hypocrite of the a man.

And I knew if I start hating myself then there won’t be any improvement in my life.

So I kept my black ass working to keep from thinking negative thoughts.

Because my thinking was shit.

It worked, at face level.

But for lasting results, I need that deep kinda loving.

That only I can provide from the inside out.

The grind paid off.

Now employed on a probationary basis.

Work ethic + being intentional + the law of averages working in my favour produced results.

With prayer and work ethic, something’s got to give.

And it did.

As expected.

~ Musa

PS. This was a delayed post. My baby girl is all healed up now. Mischievous as hell. I wouldn’t want it any other way.

Celebrate Your “Little Wins”

I’ve been having subtle wins this year, and I haven’t been sharing them on my blog.

I’m sorry about that.

The diagnosis for my daughter has been taking most of my energy.

I’m not the first or the last to have given birth to a child with special needs. This whole experience has changed my perspective about people with disorders.

It made me appreciate those who care for them even more. It was more of the mental work I was going through, more than anything else, that has me reeling.

I shared with a friend how I have mixed emotions about where I am right now, in my life.

Feelings of shame, regret, anxiety, depression, overwhelm, anger, blame, joy, happiness, pride, excitement, significance, responsibility, humility.

But the very first of the emotions I felt when I got the news was denial.

“She’s just a child.”

“She’ll eventually start speaking soon. Maybe when she turns 4.”

“Children are supposed to be hyper active, they are young.”

But getting a diagnosis from a speech therapist, as well as an occupational therapist, as well as a neuro-paediatrician, all coming to the same autistic conclusion, can’t be disputed.

My ignorance of this disorder, the fear of this unknown, a fear I couldn’t run from, led me to fighting it. This prolonged the therapy necessary to better manage the condition, unnecessarily.

Did you know that there is an autism spectrum?

Where they decide how severe the autism is?

What is autism?

The brochure I got from the counselling we got from, Gloria, the lady that runs Autism South Africa says:

“An Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is a lifelong condition that affects the way a person communicated and relates to people around them.

People with an ASD have difficulty on relating to others in a meaningful way.

Their ability to develop friendships is generally limited as is their capacity to understand other people’s emotional expression.

Some people, but not all, have accompanying learning disabilities.

All people with an ASD have impairments in social interaction, social communication and imagination.…”

It’s like learning a new language this thing.

How I relate to her to how I thought I would relate to her, to how I should.

She’s a toddler, sommer needs to add that to the mix as well.

So the majority of my year has been finding coping mechanisms.

Some healthy, most…not so healthy.

But the bottom line is how all my energies were focused in that area of my life, and this led to me neglecting this blog.

Bringing me back to this update.

I’ve been rewriting my goals down almost every day.

(It should be every day I know, but I’m working on it.)

So, with me silently working on attracting these things on my goal list, however improbable, I have managed to achieve some of them.

I was just testing a theory that Napoleon Hill’s Law of Success: The 21st-Century Edition documented.

I wanted my fiancé’s car to be settled. We had another year to go until that was going to happen.

I hate waiting, and the persistent calls she was getting from the bank asking her to make payment for it was draining both our energies.

Guess what, after about 4 months of me writing this as one of my goals, unbeknownst to her, she managed to attract the funds to have the car settled last month!

What are the chances that something I was writing about achieving, without her knowing, could really come true just like that!!

Another of my “little wins” was how I managed to get my phone back from the repair guy.

The iPad my daughter shattered was also repaired.

We were gifted 2 Nutrilite Omega 3 packs, which I also had on my list. I actually had one, but the universe – through Dr York Liu, gave us 2.

I needed a new Hymm Shaving Razor. Which we got as well.

Small things that I’ve been writing about, without anyone knowing, are coming into my life.

Through various and interesting ways. Wins that need to be celebrated, especially how the car got settled.

That is brilliance at its best.

But more importantly, it’s the way that these goals have been attracted that gives me hope and hopefully, courage to ask for bigger goals.

You should give it a go.

~ Musa

The Importance of Contrast

It’s important to expose yourself to contrast.

I’m speaking in terms of minding not to over expose your brain to negative sh**.

Too much of that would have you thinking the whole world going to hell.

With the Internet customizing your search results based on your preference, social media just reaffirms your set of beliefs.

Whether they are valid or not.

So watch more positive stuff.

Read more inspiring stuff.

Like more uplifting posts.

Reshare more motivational shandis.

Manipulate the system in your favor.

Acknowledge the shit show you might be in, but lean in more to the life enriching ideology.

Especially when you realize what’s truly important in your life.

Beautifully explained in the movie I was chatting about with my sister, About Time.

~ Musa

You Want My Relationship Advice?

Let me start off by saying that relationships are funny.

Not funny “haha” but funny “ya neh.”

You’ll never get it right, all the time, 100% of the time.

I’m just thankful for the educational program I was on, with books and CDS on what relationships work.

Especially introducing me to books like Personality Plus and The 5 Love Languages, in that order preferably.eysenck

The way I was effing things up in my relationship with Thube, I’m not sure why she stuck with me for so long.

But those books helped me understand her and her, me.

Maybe the one thing we had going for us was that we both wanted us to work.

Even though I was sabotaging the relationship from the fear of losing someone who made me feel so good.

Let me explain:

Growing up, I taught myself not to be attached to events or things that made me feel good.

Because there was no guarantee that I was going to get them again.

Sometimes the parents had to work their butts off so my sister and I can have a taste of the good life.

So when good came in our household – in whatever form – I registered them as temporary.

I should expect a retake for a while, if ever.

Because I’m a clingy and sensitive SOB.

So enter Thube.

The name of that chapter in my life would be “The Psychologist.”

She flirted herself into a now 13 year relationship with me, that one.2013-03-01_1244_thumb-590x400

It’s only in the past year or so that I’m STARTING to understand what makes her tick.

My love for knowledge and how things work makes this an infinite game.

I love games.

So I always try to improve where I can.

And that’s why I speak so highly about those books.

They definitely helped me understand myself better.

It helped me understand her better.

But I had to be open and be vulnerable first.

Something society sees as “unmanly.”

And as a chauvinist, humbling myself and practicing mutual respect is still a work in progress for me.

~ Musa

A Business Like No Other…

new-mlm-companiesI think network marketing levels the playing field.

I could be wrong, it’s just my observation.

From my limited observation, businesses are handed over from generation to generation.

The only legacy I’ve seen being left the masses is poverty.

Some families are brought up with the option of aspiring to be business owner, while other families are sold the idea of becoming employees or self employed.

Asking the government to fix this in the form of land distribution, for instance, is as effective as the removal of our now current President from office.

But network marketing nullifies this dependent mindset.

The right one also offers you training and mentorship on how to succeed by also developing a business owner mindset.

But the best ones allow for your network marketing business to be passed on from generation to generation, just like these families I spoke of earlier.

With the right training to develop your skills, I believe anyone can succeed in what they put their minds to.

Multi level marketing included.

One of the hiccups I have with conventional business is the start up capital, amongst other uncertainties.

But obviously if you are committed enough and want it badly enough then you can find solutions around that.

I guess one chooses ones battles.

With me preferring minimum start up capital.

Minimal operational costs.

No overhead.picture2

With some part time but consistent work ethic, the results are predictable.

Results that can supplement my current salary.

Results that can be on par with my current salary.

Results that can eclipse my current salary.

A business like no other.

Look as a disclaimer, anything legit that allows you to make extra income is great.

Be it MLMs or another job or part time gig or strip joints.

I’m just talking about what I’m exposed to.

Do you due dilengece.

This working you way up to your salary month end only to start at zero the following month, is insane.

But most of us are doing it so it’s ok right?

I don’t think so.

~ Musa

Buying Your Way to Heaven…

51NXzS5PJxL…Is the most selfish thing you can do.

I’m getting ahead of myself.

I love Neale D. Walsch’s take on heaven.

How it’s not a place good people go to when they die but a place good people go to when they are still alive.

Good people are good because of their actions.

The good they do boomerangs back to them in the form of good things happening to them.

Those happenings are what refers to as heaven.

So heaven from what he wrote in his book is more of an experience more than it is a destination.

I love that.

Heaven on earth.

Through your thoughts and your words and your actions, you create your own hell or heaven on earth.

So buying yourself to heaven by doing good pays off.

Because what comes around, goes around.

~ Musa