Blaming It On The Full Moon

It was on a night like this. Full moon and all. Think I was waist high. Full-Moon-e1406929374981

Another fight between my parents. Sister too young to notice.

It bled out to the street. I guess the house was too small.

She’s was so Orlando, managing to throw in some licks of her own.

In the background I was hearing a voice, it sounded foreign, of someone reprimanding my dad and my mom.

That’s when I realized it was my voice. So loud, it felt wrong. To be raising my voice like that to my parents?

Mom had sister wrapped around her back with a small blanket.

But what got me was how clear the night was, outside

So clear from the light from the moon. So clear it was as if God had Her stage light on. Just for us.

I too was smacked around as well for obeying my mother when she asked me to follow her with her wanting to leave.

Heck, she was leaving. Taking evening taxi’s my aunt’s place maybe…

Never got to ask.

Mixed emotions.

Happy mom is away. But sad that she’s gone.

I wouldn’t come back if I was her.

But I want her back.

Dad managed to rip my sister from mom’s back.

Was sis’ crying?

Maybe, but this memory is not about her, it’s about me.

Why the fuck am I witnessing this.

It can’t be real.

Was smacked back reality because I endangered myself by being on road and not safe on the pavement.

But it’s not my fault I’m outside so late this evening, dude

But I’ll take it.

I’ve been taking it. For a while now so… whatever.

But why are you doing this in front of my sister?

We’re back home now.

Mom’s not here though so we’re back in the house now.

Awkward silence now.

Sister on his knee trying to quiet her.

Don’t quite down baby.

This is an outrage.

Why you calming down now?

You going to betray me as well?

Wants from with the women in my life?

Women are trash.

What now.

It’s still light out.

Sister be sleeping now.

So it’s time for bed as well.

My heart fuming. Keeping me warm from the cool breeze that was outside.

Feeling hollow.

Playing the blame game. Blame my mother. Blame my father. Blame my sister. And blaming it on the full moon.

~ Musa

“You Are The Average Of The Top Five People You Spend Most Of Your Time With.” – Jim Rohn 

I don’t think you should deny yourself the release that comes from venting.

But don’t make it a habit.

Otherwise you will lose a lot of your blog readers that way.

Venting identifies the problem.

So now that you have IDed the problem, what’s the solution?

I read some where that some women vent to be heard, not that they are looking for a solution from you.

I think that’s weird, but then again men have a nothing box.

I think that’s weirder.

I’m going off topic again.

What I’m saying is that the things you put in your head will show in the kind of attitude you have.

If your head is in the gutter, then your attitude will stink.

Your attitude is something that might be hard to monitor with all the junk we are surrounded with.

From external influences like the news, TV and shitty friends and family who do more to pull you down than to lift you up.

The environment you’re in plays an important role in your thinking.

And I think, for the most part, you do have control over your environment.

Thank you.

I love you.

I’m sorry.

Please forgive me.

~ Musa

Do You Know What Cures Fear? 

There was this obstacle course that my team and I undertook which also included a tightrope.

It’s based in Bryanston, I don’t know if you’ve heard of it.

But I won’t mention it by name because my colleague broke her foot during one of the jumps there. And that wasn’t cool.

Sure granted the jump was not exactly according to the facilitor’s guidelines but family first, you know?

Anyways, you climbed up these steps to reach the beginning of the tightrope and below was the safety net, and on the other end are steps you can use to climb down once you have made it to the other side.

It’s shit scary being up there.

The heart starts beating faster once you let go of the balcony located at the beginning of the obstacle to walk the rope.

It was me, the rope and the safety net below.

The unknown is scary at the beginning.

Letting go of what you know is even scarier.

I think that is why your why is important.

The reason why you are doing it.

Whether it’s worth risking it all.

If you don’t have that then you won’t let go of the old in the pursuit of the new.

It’s like what Doug Wead Skip Ross said: action cures fear.

If the why is clear, the how is easy.Keith Abraham

I’m sorry.

Please forgive me.

Thank you.

I love you.

~ Musa

You Ever Noticed The Voices In Your Head? 

Success lies outside your comfort zone. 

I don’t know what that means for you, but for me this means that if what I am doing now is not producing the things you I want, then I might need to do the uncomfortable stuff that will give me the results I want. 

Should you want different results then you do the uncomfortable to produce the new results that you want. 

Self talk contributions to your current results. 

It’s the words you tell yourself in your brain that lead to the actions you take. 

And it’s from these actions that produce the results in your life. 

So it hit me that if I use affirmations to influence the actions I take, then I might get the results I’m looking for. 

Affirmations are just words you tell yourself. 

The jive is that most, maybe not you but I am a victim of this, tell ourselves negative things most of the time. 

Things that stop you from change. 

I don’t know why hey…

…maybe it’s from people we associate most with or the TV we watch or the news we read or the Presidents we elect. 

So now we are led to think that the world is negative. 

That’s were things like affirmations come to play. 

They interrupt the negative patterns we play in our minds and inject it with something positive. 

I’m sure you can do your own research about how to structure your affirmations. 

And then you can just repeat the phrase to program yourself into getting what you desire. 

Phrases like the ones Bob Proctor used, author of You Were Born Rich: I am so happy and grateful now that… (this is were you list your desire). 

In a nutshell, positive affirmations help you with moving out of your comfort zone. 

I’m sorry. 

Please forgive me. 

Thank you. 

I love you. 

~ Musa 

Fight or Flight

Have you ever wanted something so bad that when it gets to be only centimetres away from you that you become too scared to take it?

When the fight or flight response takes over.

Having to decide whether to run away from it or to fight for what you want.

That internal conflict within you that you find comfort in because of how it leads to you doing anything.

The inaction that has brought you to where you are right now.

Where now you are at the crossroads of your life once again where you have to ask yourself which step to take next…

One of relief,

…freedom,

…peace,

…happiness,

…joy,

…accomplishment,

…love,

…recognition,

…success?

Or do you stay in your current state, hoping – like you have been for the past 5 years – for the change to come.

Change that will never come until you change.

I love you.

Thank you.

~ Musawenkosi Tshoaele

What You Believe Creates Your Reality

“As he thinketh in his heart, so is he.”
~ PROVERBS 23:7

In the new Jay Z album Magna Carta Holy Grail there’s a line that goes:

“Conspiracy theorist screaming Illuminati/ They can’t believe this much skill is in the human body.”

As in to emphasize on our unlimited potential…

Something I’m still getting my head around.

Unlimited potential.

You are were you are because you associate pleasure in being were you are.

But learning to change that belief into one were you associate pleasure in taking the action that will get you were you want to be, will change your life in a HUGE way.

You do this on a continuous basis, who knows what you can achieve.

By always doing what you fear – you might even take over the world.

“Our Deepest Fear” by Marianne Williamson

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine, as children do.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.

It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others…”

~ Marianne Williamson

Go to her official website Here.

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Check out her latest book offering right Here.

I love you.

Thank you.

~ Musawenkosi Tshoaele