I’ve been having subtle wins this year, and I haven’t been sharing them on my blog.
I’m sorry about that.
The diagnosis for my daughter has been taking most of my energy.
I’m not the first or the last to have given birth to a child with special needs. This whole experience has changed my perspective about people with disorders.
It made me appreciate those who care for them even more. It was more of the mental work I was going through, more than anything else, that has me reeling.
I shared with a friend how I have mixed emotions about where I am right now, in my life.
Feelings of shame, regret, anxiety, depression, overwhelm, anger, blame, joy, happiness, pride, excitement, significance, responsibility, humility.
But the very first of the emotions I felt when I got the news was denial.
“She’s just a child.”
“She’ll eventually start speaking soon. Maybe when she turns 4.”
“Children are supposed to be hyper active, they are young.”
But getting a diagnosis from a speech therapist, as well as an occupational therapist, as well as a neuro-paediatrician, all coming to the same autistic conclusion, can’t be disputed.
My ignorance of this disorder, the fear of this unknown, a fear I couldn’t run from, led me to fighting it. This prolonged the therapy necessary to better manage the condition, unnecessarily.
Did you know that there is an autism spectrum?
Where they decide how severe the autism is?
What is autism?
The brochure I got from the counselling we got from, Gloria, the lady that runs Autism South Africa says:
“An Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is a lifelong condition that affects the way a person communicated and relates to people around them.
People with an ASD have difficulty on relating to others in a meaningful way.
Their ability to develop friendships is generally limited as is their capacity to understand other people’s emotional expression.
Some people, but not all, have accompanying learning disabilities.
All people with an ASD have impairments in social interaction, social communication and imagination.…”
It’s like learning a new language this thing.
How I relate to her to how I thought I would relate to her, to how I should.
She’s a toddler, sommer needs to add that to the mix as well.
So the majority of my year has been finding coping mechanisms.
Some healthy, most…not so healthy.
But the bottom line is how all my energies were focused in that area of my life, and this led to me neglecting this blog.
Bringing me back to this update.
I’ve been rewriting my goals down almost every day.
(It should be every day I know, but I’m working on it.)
So, with me silently working on attracting these things on my goal list, however improbable, I have managed to achieve some of them.
I was just testing a theory that Napoleon Hill’s Law of Success: The 21st-Century Edition documented.
I wanted my fiancé’s car to be settled. We had another year to go until that was going to happen.
I hate waiting, and the persistent calls she was getting from the bank asking her to make payment for it was draining both our energies.
Guess what, after about 4 months of me writing this as one of my goals, unbeknownst to her, she managed to attract the funds to have the car settled last month!
What are the chances that something I was writing about achieving, without her knowing, could really come true just like that!!
Another of my “little wins” was how I managed to get my phone back from the repair guy.
The iPad my daughter shattered was also repaired.
We were gifted 2 Nutrilite Omega 3 packs, which I also had on my list. I actually had one, but the universe – through Dr York Liu, gave us 2.
I needed a new Hymm Shaving Razor. Which we got as well.
Small things that I’ve been writing about, without anyone knowing, are coming into my life.
Through various and interesting ways. Wins that need to be celebrated, especially how the car got settled.
That is brilliance at its best.
But more importantly, it’s the way that these goals have been attracted that gives me hope and hopefully, courage to ask for bigger goals.
You should give it a go.