The Beauty Is In The Detail

unnamedI use my phone to write the drafts of my blogs, most of the time.

I should be writing more now compared to the phone I was using at the beginning.

The screen was so tiny and the editing… a nightmare.

I’m grateful for the new (not so new) phone I have now.

Yes, the screen is cracked.

Again.

The things is, I managed to get the screen “repaired” a while back, but now I’m not able to adjust the brightness settings on the phone screen.

So it’s permanently on the brightest setting.

This used to make for beautiful light shows during my taxi rides back home from my evening shifts.

When my creativity was at its highest.

Busy blinding other passengers on either side of me.

I’m sure they were probably wondering why I don’t dim my phone.

Oh well, they will be strong.

IMG_2020-02-12-05551266I’m addicted to the Pokemon Go  App game, which not only uses the Internet but also my mobile’s GPS feature.

These contributing elements have done a number on my mobile battery strength.

With my phone going from 100% to 0% in under 2 hours as opposed to 16 hours.

I need to attract a new phone.

Something else I’ve noticed is that I’ve been insecure about myself for a while now.

Shit, I can’t even make eye contact with myself in the mirror.

I can hear my heart racing when I do. Probably one of the reasons I don’t like taking Snapchat-1246795292pictures of myself.

Oh my bad, I meant to say selfies.

I’ve taken a liking to Snapchat though.

The filters though make me look too feminine.

That’s code for “the filters on Snapchat make me look gay.”

I would have made a pretty gay dad though.

Speaking about being a dad, my Omu has taken most of my attention.

As a 1st time dad, and ignorant in the field of raising an autistic child, saying that things have been rough is an understatement.

But that’s not to say that there haven’t been times of unbelievable joy as well you know?

The thing that fascinates me about this barrier (you notice my use of language? It fascinates. It doesn’t frustrate) is the psychologically around it.

The history.

The various degrees of it. Or in this case the spectrum levels.

From severe to non-severe.

My melancholy side tends to love the details.

The beauty is in the details.

But over information leads to overwhelm.

That has been me for most of this year.

I’m living in a stressful time right now.

But then again who isn’t right?

Regular doses of stress, I find, keep you going.

Keeping you moving and taking action.

Stress energy is potential power that you could release through daily activities that produce results for you.

Activities that I’ve been neglecting.

Simple activities like being grateful.

Familiarity breeds contempt.

Like the food you eat.

We’ve grown numb to blessing our food before we eat.

Not realizing how fortunate you are to have such options available to you.

Being grateful daily should be a flex.

“Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.” ~ Oprah Winfrey 

Sometimes we have to live in the idea of living as though your prayers have been answered.

Stress makes you think emotionally.

Most “bad” results are made from emotional decisions.

So a “change of state” is advised before making decisions.

~ Musa

Do You Hear Voices In Your Head?

randy-orton-poseHave you ever woken up hearing the same thing or phrase over and over again?

This time around the phrase is, drum roll please, manage your emotions.

Manage your fears…

…my analytical side wanted to dig deeper into why now, why this phrase.

And my “don’t give AF” side says fuck it.

The message or update status is out now.

Hopefully, I will start hearing less of it.

It’s like being held at gunpoint by your thoughts.

Hearing voices others don’t and you have to get it out somehow.

I wrote what you just read in italics a few days back.

I usually wait a while before posting.

It gives me time to proofread and pick up better ways I could have said certain things.

I realized this morning that this post has more to do with me than I initially expected.

I’m a very moody person.

Which makes it a very difficult thing to deal with for those around me.

There was a time when a friend of mine once told me something that stuck if with me, how if something or someone upset me, I shouldn’t take it out on everyone else.

Manage your emotions.

~ Musa

Start Attacking What You Fear

There’s something wrong with Stephen King.

I love his books and movie adaptations.

The guy is just loco.

I’m rewatching IT.

Freaking scary stuff.

I want to watch the sequel, because it has that guy from Wanted or was it Split, I think it was X-Men (James McAvoy).

I don’t like scary movies, I don’t like the hold they have over me.

So that’s why I would watch one.

I don’t like being intimidated.

I need to attack my fears. Batman_Begins_Fear_Gas

Because Will Smith said so.

He said he attacked what he feared.

Will Smith used to make dope movies…but now…I don’t know man. It makes me sad.

But he makes great YouTube videos though.

At least there’s that.

~ Musa

Looks Can Be Deceiving

Life is not static.What-can-you-see-in-this-optical-illusion-723919

You can’t stand still in your pain, and think that life will do the same.

Comforting you, standing next to you saying: “there, there, everything is going to be okay.”

Life goes on.

Leaving your crying ass behind.

And here I was thinking me and life were tight.

You need to learn to move with life, instead of wanting it to wait for you to finish hurting.

That’s where the healing is.

In movement.

Standing still just magnifies the pain.

The pain that doesn’t get better but gets more tolerable.

The shit never gets completely goes away.

It’s the rhythm of life, nothing is static.

Even if it looks like it is.

~ Musa

Stay Humble…But Never Downplay Your Success

Sometimes when we feel powerless, it’s an indication that you are disconnected from the Infinite Source of Power.kendrick-lamar-damn.jpg

The Infinite Supply.

And you can easily reconnect and restore your power by exercising gratitude.

Any negative emotion that comes up is an indication that you are disconnected.

When you are connected then you feel all the good, positive emotions that is associated with what is also known as Infinite Intelligence.

What some call God and some call the Universe.

There is this Invisible Source of Infinite Energy that exists, that cannot be really explained, but is undisputed.

And when you reconnect to it in the spirit of gratitude, you draw power from it.

There is an energy that exists that does not have a scientific definition.

And gratitude allows you to tap in to that undefined energy.

One needs that “unplug” when it seems like shit hits then fan

~ Musa

You Are Your Addictions

I’m an impulsive guy and I don’t believe in denying myself of anything I crave.

The one disclaimer is that it shouldn’t come at the expense of others.

A disclaimer I’ve been striving to live up to.

There are urges or repetitive habits we indulge in that makes us all “addicts.”

Phone addicts.

Series addicts.

TV drama addicts.

Music addicts.

Movie addicts.

Download/streaming addicts.

Social media likes.

Partying.

Staying at home.

Alcoholic.

Smoking.

Sex.

Money making.

Money spending.

Action oriented.

Tattoo.

Gym.

Information gathering.

In some shape or form we are all addicted to something.

It comes back to what Mr. Anthony Robbins said about being able to identify the emotional fulfillment you achieve from getting your next “fix”, will help you replace your addiction to one that works for you and not against you.

But I think the first step is to have the emotional intelligence Dr. Stephen R. Covey writes about of being aware of your “addictions”.

And being able to recognize whether they are working for you or not.

Then having the guts to put in the work needed to train your brain, over a period of time, in indulging in those habits (addictions) that will take you ahead in your life.

The things you repeatedly do or repeatedly don’t do, unconsciously and over time is the result of where you are right now.

~ Musa

Celebrate Your “Little Wins”

I’ve been having subtle wins this year, and I haven’t been sharing them on my blog.

I’m sorry about that.

The diagnosis for my daughter has been taking most of my energy.

I’m not the first or the last to have given birth to a child with special needs. This whole experience has changed my perspective about people with disorders.

It made me appreciate those who care for them even more. It was more of the mental work I was going through, more than anything else, that has me reeling.

I shared with a friend how I have mixed emotions about where I am right now, in my life.

Feelings of shame, regret, anxiety, depression, overwhelm, anger, blame, joy, happiness, pride, excitement, significance, responsibility, humility.

But the very first of the emotions I felt when I got the news was denial.

“She’s just a child.”

“She’ll eventually start speaking soon. Maybe when she turns 4.”

“Children are supposed to be hyper active, they are young.”

But getting a diagnosis from a speech therapist, as well as an occupational therapist, as well as a neuro-paediatrician, all coming to the same autistic conclusion, can’t be disputed.

My ignorance of this disorder, the fear of this unknown, a fear I couldn’t run from, led me to fighting it. This prolonged the therapy necessary to better manage the condition, unnecessarily.

Did you know that there is an autism spectrum?

Where they decide how severe the autism is?

What is autism?

The brochure I got from the counselling we got from, Gloria, the lady that runs Autism South Africa says:

“An Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is a lifelong condition that affects the way a person communicated and relates to people around them.

People with an ASD have difficulty on relating to others in a meaningful way.

Their ability to develop friendships is generally limited as is their capacity to understand other people’s emotional expression.

Some people, but not all, have accompanying learning disabilities.

All people with an ASD have impairments in social interaction, social communication and imagination.…”

It’s like learning a new language this thing.

How I relate to her to how I thought I would relate to her, to how I should.

She’s a toddler, sommer needs to add that to the mix as well.

So the majority of my year has been finding coping mechanisms.

Some healthy, most…not so healthy.

But the bottom line is how all my energies were focused in that area of my life, and this led to me neglecting this blog.

Bringing me back to this update.

I’ve been rewriting my goals down almost every day.

(It should be every day I know, but I’m working on it.)

So, with me silently working on attracting these things on my goal list, however improbable, I have managed to achieve some of them.

I was just testing a theory that Napoleon Hill’s Law of Success: The 21st-Century Edition documented.

I wanted my fiancé’s car to be settled. We had another year to go until that was going to happen.

I hate waiting, and the persistent calls she was getting from the bank asking her to make payment for it was draining both our energies.

Guess what, after about 4 months of me writing this as one of my goals, unbeknownst to her, she managed to attract the funds to have the car settled last month!

What are the chances that something I was writing about achieving, without her knowing, could really come true just like that!!

Another of my “little wins” was how I managed to get my phone back from the repair guy.

The iPad my daughter shattered was also repaired.

We were gifted 2 Nutrilite Omega 3 packs, which I also had on my list. I actually had one, but the universe – through Dr York Liu, gave us 2.

I needed a new Hymm Shaving Razor. Which we got as well.

Small things that I’ve been writing about, without anyone knowing, are coming into my life.

Through various and interesting ways. Wins that need to be celebrated, especially how the car got settled.

That is brilliance at its best.

But more importantly, it’s the way that these goals have been attracted that gives me hope and hopefully, courage to ask for bigger goals.

You should give it a go.

~ Musa

How You Feel Attracts What You See

I’ve been reading this book about vibrations in relation to the brain.

How not only your thoughts are a form of vibration, but how also your feelings a another form of vibration too.

Then it made me think how I’ve being feeling these days.

Anxious…frustrated emotions (vibrations).

While, in the same breath, praying (vibrating) for better circumstances that would make feel better.

Contradicting vibrations.

What you vibrate, you attract.

Like vibrations attract like vibrations.

It’s a freaking awesome realization as well as freaking terrifying.

It made me think:

What are your dominate thoughts?

What are your dominate feelings on an average day?

Because, according to research, all things, at their molecular level – are vibrations.

Everything things are energy.

Vibrating at different levels.

The level of your vibrations, dictates what willing be coming your way.

You attract, at a vibrational level.

The art is to match your current vibrations (thoughts & emotions) with your future goals.

You know, that feeling you will have once you get what you want?

That’s how you should be feeling now.

Easier said than done.

Especially if your life is a reincarnation of the movie Falling Down.

But maybe that’s why there are few people who succeed & the many who do not.

The few that put in the work, in order to achieve.

Let’s strive to be the few who are chosen.

~ Musa

The Relativity of Time and How Time is Relative

There are so many realities out there.

What might be real to you, what not be real to me.

At that time anyway.

Reality and time work hand in hand, until they don’t.

I found that what I objected to a couple of years ago, is something I fully support now.

You live long enough to become a hypocrite in this world.

I obviously say this based on my reality, but I still have the balls to disagree with yours.

Reality is relative.

~ Musa

The Importance of Contrast

It’s important to expose yourself to contrast.

I’m speaking in terms of minding not to over expose your brain to negative sh**.

Too much of that would have you thinking the whole world going to hell.

With the Internet customizing your search results based on your preference, social media just reaffirms your set of beliefs.

Whether they are valid or not.

So watch more positive stuff.

Read more inspiring stuff.

Like more uplifting posts.

Reshare more motivational shandis.

Manipulate the system in your favor.

Acknowledge the shit show you might be in, but lean in more to the life enriching ideology.

Especially when you realize what’s truly important in your life.

Beautifully explained in the movie I was chatting about with my sister, About Time.

~ Musa