You Are Your Addictions

I’m an impulsive guy and I don’t believe in denying myself of anything I crave.

The one disclaimer is that it shouldn’t come at the expense of others.

A disclaimer I’ve been striving to live up to.

There are urges or repetitive habits we indulge in that makes us all “addicts.”

Phone addicts.

Series addicts.

TV drama addicts.

Music addicts.

Movie addicts.

Download/streaming addicts.

Social media likes.

Partying.

Staying at home.

Alcoholic.

Smoking.

Sex.

Money making.

Money spending.

Action oriented.

Tattoo.

Gym.

Information gathering.

In some shape or form we are all addicted to something.

It comes back to what Mr. Anthony Robbins said about being able to identify the emotional fulfillment you achieve from getting your next “fix”, will help you replace your addiction to one that works for you and not against you.

But I think the first step is to have the emotional intelligence Dr. Stephen R. Covey writes about of being aware of your “addictions”.

And being able to recognize whether they are working for you or not.

Then having the guts to put in the work needed to train your brain, over a period of time, in indulging in those habits (addictions) that will take you ahead in your life.

The things you repeatedly do or repeatedly don’t do, unconsciously and over time is the result of where you are right now.

~ Musa

Celebrate Your “Little Wins”

I’ve been having subtle wins this year, and I haven’t been sharing them on my blog.

I’m sorry about that.

The diagnosis for my daughter has been taking most of my energy.

I’m not the first or the last to have given birth to a child with special needs. This whole experience has changed my perspective about people with disorders.

It made me appreciate those who care for them even more. It was more of the mental work I was going through, more than anything else, that has me reeling.

I shared with a friend how I have mixed emotions about where I am right now, in my life.

Feelings of shame, regret, anxiety, depression, overwhelm, anger, blame, joy, happiness, pride, excitement, significance, responsibility, humility.

But the very first of the emotions I felt when I got the news was denial.

“She’s just a child.”

“She’ll eventually start speaking soon. Maybe when she turns 4.”

“Children are supposed to be hyper active, they are young.”

But getting a diagnosis from a speech therapist, as well as an occupational therapist, as well as a neuro-paediatrician, all coming to the same autistic conclusion, can’t be disputed.

My ignorance of this disorder, the fear of this unknown, a fear I couldn’t run from, led me to fighting it. This prolonged the therapy necessary to better manage the condition, unnecessarily.

Did you know that there is an autism spectrum?

Where they decide how severe the autism is?

What is autism?

The brochure I got from the counselling we got from, Gloria, the lady that runs Autism South Africa says:

“An Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is a lifelong condition that affects the way a person communicated and relates to people around them.

People with an ASD have difficulty on relating to others in a meaningful way.

Their ability to develop friendships is generally limited as is their capacity to understand other people’s emotional expression.

Some people, but not all, have accompanying learning disabilities.

All people with an ASD have impairments in social interaction, social communication and imagination.…”

It’s like learning a new language this thing.

How I relate to her to how I thought I would relate to her, to how I should.

She’s a toddler, sommer needs to add that to the mix as well.

So the majority of my year has been finding coping mechanisms.

Some healthy, most…not so healthy.

But the bottom line is how all my energies were focused in that area of my life, and this led to me neglecting this blog.

Bringing me back to this update.

I’ve been rewriting my goals down almost every day.

(It should be every day I know, but I’m working on it.)

So, with me silently working on attracting these things on my goal list, however improbable, I have managed to achieve some of them.

I was just testing a theory that Napoleon Hill’s Law of Success: The 21st-Century Edition documented.

I wanted my fiancé’s car to be settled. We had another year to go until that was going to happen.

I hate waiting, and the persistent calls she was getting from the bank asking her to make payment for it was draining both our energies.

Guess what, after about 4 months of me writing this as one of my goals, unbeknownst to her, she managed to attract the funds to have the car settled last month!

What are the chances that something I was writing about achieving, without her knowing, could really come true just like that!!

Another of my “little wins” was how I managed to get my phone back from the repair guy.

The iPad my daughter shattered was also repaired.

We were gifted 2 Nutrilite Omega 3 packs, which I also had on my list. I actually had one, but the universe – through Dr York Liu, gave us 2.

I needed a new Hymm Shaving Razor. Which we got as well.

Small things that I’ve been writing about, without anyone knowing, are coming into my life.

Through various and interesting ways. Wins that need to be celebrated, especially how the car got settled.

That is brilliance at its best.

But more importantly, it’s the way that these goals have been attracted that gives me hope and hopefully, courage to ask for bigger goals.

You should give it a go.

~ Musa

How You Feel Attracts What You See

I’ve been reading this book about vibrations in relation to the brain.

How not only your thoughts are a form of vibration, but how also your feelings a another form of vibration too.

Then it made me think how I’ve being feeling these days.

Anxious…frustrated emotions (vibrations).

While, in the same breath, praying (vibrating) for better circumstances that would make feel better.

Contradicting vibrations.

What you vibrate, you attract.

Like vibrations attract like vibrations.

It’s a freaking awesome realization as well as freaking terrifying.

It made me think:

What are your dominate thoughts?

What are your dominate feelings on an average day?

Because, according to research, all things, at their molecular level – are vibrations.

Everything things are energy.

Vibrating at different levels.

The level of your vibrations, dictates what willing be coming your way.

You attract, at a vibrational level.

The art is to match your current vibrations (thoughts & emotions) with your future goals.

You know, that feeling you will have once you get what you want?

That’s how you should be feeling now.

Easier said than done.

Especially if your life is a reincarnation of the movie Falling Down.

But maybe that’s why there are few people who succeed & the many who do not.

The few that put in the work, in order to achieve.

Let’s strive to be the few who are chosen.

~ Musa

The Relativity of Time and How Time is Relative

There are so many realities out there.

What might be real to you, what not be real to me.

At that time anyway.

Reality and time work hand in hand, until they don’t.

I found that what I objected to a couple of years ago, is something I fully support now.

You live long enough to become a hypocrite in this world.

I obviously say this based on my reality, but I still have the balls to disagree with yours.

Reality is relative.

~ Musa

There Is A Power You Have Total Control Over…

1_0vv6-h4s_w1M_ceauDRzJwIf I was writing an autobiography of my life, and I had the opportunity to write a title for this particular chapter in my life, I would title it “Working Under Pressure.”

Probably have the subheading as “Understanding Cause and Effect and How to Use the Slight Edge to Work in Your Favour.”

Of my 35 years in this lifetime, I’ve never been as stressed out.

This time around, I’m trying not to react out emotionally.

A certain amount if stress can be good you. It helps with focus, I feel.

There was a time that I did react emotionally and I had to clean up after myself when my tantrum was done.

There are certain things that are out of my control that I can’t really be angry about.

And there are those things that I do have control over.

But through neglect, compounded over time, I find myself in the position of having to react. Playing the blame game on how the world doesn’t want me to succeed.

Which is BS.

Doing enough of the wrong things will lead to failure.

Doing enough of the right things will lead to success.

There’s no mystic force that’s stopping me from succeeding.

There’s no external voodoo that’s making me see failure at every turn.

It’s all me.

It’s all you.

So stop messing around and do what Jocko Willink does and take extreme ownership.

There is power in taking 100 percent ownership.

~ Musa

Don’t Allow Yourself to Be Anyone’s B****

Raise Your Standards.

If you don’t ask much from yourself.

Then you will keep getting what you keep getting.

This guy I know, he wrote that the one thing he clearly remembered that helped him change from being a janitor to a multimillionaire businessman, was that he raised he standards.

He expected more from himself.

So there are things that I used to do, in the spirit of pleasing others.

But now I don’t.

There are people out there who believe they need to be placed in pedestals.

An idea that they have people around them promote. Thinking that we all dance to their fiddle.

Not all of us do.

Don’t allow people to turn you into a person that begs for their approval.

Some people, because you love them, will have you feeling small and use emotional blackmail that will have you crawling on your knees as a price for them to welcome you back in their arms.

Because you are emotionally invested, the indecency alludes you.

But one day, you eyes will be wide opened.

Who knows.

Maybe that day will come when you start raising your standards.

tdkr-batman-rain

~ Musa