It’s A Phase Until It Becomes Intentional

The falling in love phase is so exciting.

Thrilling.

Passionate.

The longing to meet each other.

Most lovers base their decision to marry while in that phase.

A phase that will end.

And right then, when the euphoria of falling in love has dissipated and when love is not as automatic.

When your love for one another must be intentional, that’s when the rubber meets the road.

You need to work.

Work is love.

Love is work.

Now you have to be conscious of what your partner really likes, what really fills her love tank.

And you have to start speaking their love language.

Failure to do so, will result in resentment, that compounds until what your version of “happily ever after” becomes but a dream.

Leading to breaks ups.

Reminds me of this great guy who was madly in love with this cool girl.

Going out for dates, presents where bought, vacations (baecations) were taken.

An absolutely fabulous relationship.

Or so I thought.

The moment this great guy lost his job and his car, cool girl broke up with him.

Even though they were engaged.

She wasn’t going to receive the kind of love she’s grown used to, so she dropped him.

Because great guy was now trash, you see?

Great guy managed to pick himself up, financially as well.

Cool girl now wants great guy back.

Because he is now capable of loving her in her love language now.

Love is not only a feeling, but the conscious willingness to feel each other’s love tank.

It’s intentional.

You fuck that up and you’re fucked.

That is why you find people going from one relationship to another, high from the falling in love phase.

Once the high leaves their veins they jump to another relationship and on to the next trip.

~ Musa

Nothing Beats The Grind

After 2-3 weeks of submitting a minimum of 10 resumes a day, I finally got a job. My fiance’s family fed me during the holidays hustle.

A very humbling experience since I am a prideful man.

I don’t like getting handouts because in my life I’ve come to find that most handouts come with an IOU tag.

I don’t want to be indebted to anyone.

So being in the position I was in, made me grind harder.

I think I sent out those CVs and with me going to interviews between.

Some interviews where scams, some promising. But I kept submitting them promising or not.

Most people start slowling where nearing the finish line.

I slow down once I cross it.

Hell, I even turned to reading the bible.

You know shit’s hit the fan when I pick up “the book.”

It kept me going. That and seeing the unbothered smile on my daughter’s face.

She hit the side of her eye, that one, playing in the playgrounds at cresche.

Had to get stitched. Busy walking around with an eye the size of a golf ball. To put it mildly, she was not impressed seeing the world with one eye.

But I’m glad I was there to assist with the healing process.

But it was her mom that kept me above water mainly. There’s no one I appreciated more, beyond words even, than her, during this period.

I felt stripped of my title as a provider.

As a man, if I cannot provide for my family, what am I?

Feeling lost, going to bed with a broken heart. I was without purpose and I felt depressed.

The need to feel needed by corporate was overwhelming. Which felt like a contradiction because I promote the idea of owning your own business.

A purposeless, non providing, hypocrite of the a man.

And I knew if I start hating myself then there won’t be any improvement in my life.

So I kept my black ass working to keep from thinking negative thoughts.

Because my thinking was shit.

It worked, at face level.

But for lasting results, I need that deep kinda loving.

That only I can provide from the inside out.

The grind paid off.

Now employed on a probationary basis.

Work ethic + being intentional + the law of averages working in my favour produced results.

With prayer and work ethic, something’s got to give.

And it did.

As expected.

~ Musa

PS. This was a delayed post. My baby girl is all healed up now. Mischievous as hell. I wouldn’t want it any other way.

“Dead Or Alive, You Are Coming With Me.”

loopable-ekg-line-ekg-monitor-ekg-machine-heart-health-blue-ecg-monitor-shows-healthy-heart-beat-seamless-loop_sfw_cr5e__F0002

Been having a lot of pent up anger of late.

It compounds.

Lack of sleep.

Haven’t been reading a good book for almost a week now.

Missing out on my daily meditations.

Haven’t been rewriting my goals.

Not been listening to motivational audios.

Skipping motivational & educational videos.

It’s been months since I’ve been visualizing my success.

I haven’t been exercising as much as I did.

Been poorly taking my vitamins and supplements.

All things happening daily, gradually, to a point where I feel exhausted physically and mentally.

Dropping my emotional intelligence.

I’m in the business of where losing your cool would cost you your job.

That love and hate relationship of being concerned of losing the job you hate.

Where now I incorrectly blame others for my lack of self mastery.

You attract what you are.

Happiness is an inside job.

Won’t happen overnight, but you can change your direction overnight.

The rest is just consistency on your part.

Change begins when you take 100% responsibility of what’s happening around you.

To you.

Through you.

~ Musa

You Fear the Sabre-tooth

6753809I read somewhere that the brain is wired since the stone age to think negatively so to protect us from the dangers that existed then.

Sabre-tooth as an example.

These days this negative thinking works overtime, stopping us from getting ahead in life.

Because we fear trying something new.

Fear of the Sabre-tooth.

This happens without us even realizing.

Without reading, preferably instructional books, then nothing will contradict that thinking.

You could even try swapping listening to the car radio station or your phone playlist for an audiobook.

The hours you spent while traveling, could be spent sharpening your mind against the Sabre-tooth.

Marvel_avengers_alliance_sabretooth_by_ratatrampa87-d6tj8tgThe benefits of investing in yourself will eventually be seen via your outlook in your life.

Maybe that’s what you need.

Maybe that’s what need.

A different outlook.

That comes from developing a habit of reading or listening daily to go sh*t.

~ Musa

Replace Your S** t Habits With Good Ones

I kept on seeing and hearing the name Simon Sinek being projected in my head.

Simon Sinek.

As if stuck in the frontal lobe of my brain.

Simon Sinek.

All this, haunting, while trying to sleep.

So here I am, writing about him.

I don’t know much about him.

He was first brought to my attention by a business partner who has a background in medicine.

Google Sinek.

From the little I know of him is that he’s a speaker.

He speaks about most about leadership. On what defines a leader and what drives her. Reasons why they are true leaders. Amongst other things.

He’s available on different social media sites, I also follow him on Twitter and IG.

He’s an author as well, he wrote Start With Why.

And there are lots of videos on the ‘Tube that have he’s talks.

I think there’s a vid of one of his talks I posted in one of my blogs that I thought was awesome.

There’s a bias that comes with being a leader that I want to take advantage of.

The monetary benefits of being paid to solve problems being one of them.

It’s as if followers create problems while leaders get paid to solve them.

So I’ve been listening to some of his audios as well. Him, John Maxwell and Gary Vaynerchuk are the 3 guys I’ve been filling my head with of late.

And Eric Thomas. #TGIM

I guess I can be obsessed with certain things in my life, such as my personal development.

If I don’t invest the time for it, noone else will.

Then I will just be like the rest of them, blaming my job or spouse or community or the government or the gods for my current, undesirable situations.

Not realising that the true problem here is me.

I fix me, all else gets fixed.

It’s an inside job.

~ Musa

“Death Be Not Proud”

Having a job is such a fleeting thing because you don’t control over that shit.

Making sure you don’t step on people’s toes, keeping your head down for fear of being sacked.

That’s not making a living.

That’s making a dying.

~ Musa

Hand Outs

30704604_10156443883328304_2485161551590003087_nYou can’t get what you don’t give.

That’s the way of life.

You have to give what you desire.

It’s a law.

Because what you give, you will always get back in return.

You hand out disrespect.

It will come back to you.

Like an invisible boomerang.

The thing is when it does return, it hits you unexpectedly.

Making you feel like you’re the victim when, no actually, you’re the instigator.

Before you cry foul, take a stand back and see whether logs need to be removed from your eye first & foremost.

But as a sidenote, not everyone is going to like you.

Don’t stop being yourself.

But do so respectfully.

The worlds is filled with assholes. No need adding to the stats.

~ Musa