It’s A Phase Until It Becomes Intentional

The falling in love phase is so exciting.

Thrilling.

Passionate.

The longing to meet each other.

Most lovers base their decision to marry while in that phase.

A phase that will end.

And right then, when the euphoria of falling in love has dissipated and when love is not as automatic.

When your love for one another must be intentional, that’s when the rubber meets the road.

You need to work.

Work is love.

Love is work.

Now you have to be conscious of what your partner really likes, what really fills her love tank.

And you have to start speaking their love language.

Failure to do so, will result in resentment, that compounds until what your version of “happily ever after” becomes but a dream.

Leading to breaks ups.

Reminds me of this great guy who was madly in love with this cool girl.

Going out for dates, presents where bought, vacations (baecations) were taken.

An absolutely fabulous relationship.

Or so I thought.

The moment this great guy lost his job and his car, cool girl broke up with him.

Even though they were engaged.

She wasn’t going to receive the kind of love she’s grown used to, so she dropped him.

Because great guy was now trash, you see?

Great guy managed to pick himself up, financially as well.

Cool girl now wants great guy back.

Because he is now capable of loving her in her love language now.

Love is not only a feeling, but the conscious willingness to feel each other’s love tank.

It’s intentional.

You fuck that up and you’re fucked.

That is why you find people going from one relationship to another, high from the falling in love phase.

Once the high leaves their veins they jump to another relationship and on to the next trip.

~ Musa

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Who Have You Equipped Today?

So today is yet another day…oh yeah I now remember what I wanted to blog about.

Equipping was a word Dr J. Maxwell taught me in his book, The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership: Follow Them and People Will Follow You.

I didn’t realize the different meaning of the word until he explained it to me.

I won’t be able to re-explain it exactly the way he did, but I’ll try.

Maxwell wrote about how he taught the staff, at his favorite restaurant, how he would like to be served.

It made sense.

I mean, if you value my business, as a patron, then you need to serve me the way I like. So that I can keep me as a customer.

How he would like to be treated from the moment he enters the restaurant, how things should be laid out for him during his stay, all the way up until he leaves.

Maxwell equipped them on how they can better keep him as a customer.

It’s a win-win situation, like Dr. S. Covey described in The 7 Steps to Highly Effective People.

Maxwell has a pleasant experience being services and they get to keep this internationally influential customer under their belt.

I decided to try this “equipping” idea on a colleague.

Integrity is one of my highest values, so when I loan you money and you say you will pay me back tomorrow, only for you to come up with a story when tomorrow comes, it violates one of my highest values.

It’s an insult to me.

And I don’t like to be disrespected.

Respect being another of my other top values.

So I gave it a shot.

My colleague asked for money from me again, and said he will pay me back at theend of our shift.

The time came when the reimbursement was due, and like a creature of habit, he asked if he can pay me tomorrow.

I replied that I could wait for tomorrow.

It caught him by surprise, usually I just say yes and allow people like him to walk all over me.

I didn’t feel like being a doormat that day.

I asked if I heard him right when he said he was going to pay me back at the end of our shift.

He said he did. I then asked what happened.

An question he couldn’t answer.

He proceeded gearing his mind and actions towards paying me back, like he said.

The way he threw the money back in my hands, was not with the same grace I loaned him with.

Which was fine, because it sets up one for two possible future scenarios:

  1. Next time he feels the need to request something from me, he just won’t.
  2. Next time he feels the need to request something from me, he knows he would need to deliver on time.

He has been equipped.

He might try me a few more times so he can try his luck.

I would then need to be consistent with my equipping him.

It puts me in a place of power and control. I hate being reactive.

How about you?

~ Musa

How You Feel Attracts What You See

I’ve been reading this book about vibrations in relation to the brain.

How not only your thoughts are a form of vibration, but how also your feelings a another form of vibration too.

Then it made me think how I’ve being feeling these days.

Anxious…frustrated emotions (vibrations).

While, in the same breath, praying (vibrating) for better circumstances that would make feel better.

Contradicting vibrations.

What you vibrate, you attract.

Like vibrations attract like vibrations.

It’s a freaking awesome realization as well as freaking terrifying.

It made me think:

What are your dominate thoughts?

What are your dominate feelings on an average day?

Because, according to research, all things, at their molecular level – are vibrations.

Everything things are energy.

Vibrating at different levels.

The level of your vibrations, dictates what willing be coming your way.

You attract, at a vibrational level.

The art is to match your current vibrations (thoughts & emotions) with your future goals.

You know, that feeling you will have once you get what you want?

That’s how you should be feeling now.

Easier said than done.

Especially if your life is a reincarnation of the movie Falling Down.

But maybe that’s why there are few people who succeed & the many who do not.

The few that put in the work, in order to achieve.

Let’s strive to be the few who are chosen.

~ Musa

There Is A Power You Have Total Control Over…

1_0vv6-h4s_w1M_ceauDRzJwIf I was writing an autobiography of my life, and I had the opportunity to write a title for this particular chapter in my life, I would title it “Working Under Pressure.”

Probably have the subheading as “Understanding Cause and Effect and How to Use the Slight Edge to Work in Your Favour.”

Of my 35 years in this lifetime, I’ve never been as stressed out.

This time around, I’m trying not to react out emotionally.

A certain amount if stress can be good you. It helps with focus, I feel.

There was a time that I did react emotionally and I had to clean up after myself when my tantrum was done.

There are certain things that are out of my control that I can’t really be angry about.

And there are those things that I do have control over.

But through neglect, compounded over time, I find myself in the position of having to react. Playing the blame game on how the world doesn’t want me to succeed.

Which is BS.

Doing enough of the wrong things will lead to failure.

Doing enough of the right things will lead to success.

There’s no mystic force that’s stopping me from succeeding.

There’s no external voodoo that’s making me see failure at every turn.

It’s all me.

It’s all you.

So stop messing around and do what Jocko Willink does and take extreme ownership.

There is power in taking 100 percent ownership.

~ Musa

What Peak Performers Do In The Morning That You Might Not Be Doing…

The way I’m driving what little traffic I have to his YouTube page, one might think he’s paying me to do it.

I don’t know much about Ed Mylett.

But of what little I know, was shared on an interview I stumbled over, that you can access through one of my posts here.

~ Musa

Your Growth Is Limited By Your Environment

My latest favorite content marketing guy said I should document my life regularly.

So here I am, doing just that.

Imitate successful people long enough and you too will be successful.

Long enough and consistently enough.

So there was something a friend of mine wrote…

… I can’t say we’re friends, I mean I never met the guy but I do enjoy his tweets.

Anyways, the guy wasn’t feeling well, I mean we are human, and he posted how he had a bad feeling about today.

This was something which was out of character of him.

But then again, like the rest of us, he spends like 2% of his life on social media so what do I know.

Nonetherless we are what we think.

As a man thinketh, so shall he be.

So I politely asked he stop with his sh** and focus on willing the day into a great one.

But I did that mostly for selfish reasons.

I can’t be scrolling through my Twitter timeline with such negativity.

Like, I’m the most negative person I know.

That’s why I need this blog, YouTube videos, and other motivational just to make it through the day.

So I need those I follow to inspire me with every swipe on my phone.

To surround myself with positive shandis that will outweigh the negative, so that I can attract more people and things to be grateful for.

I think that’s why I’ve unfriended so many on Facebook and unfollowed on IG and Twitter.

Be picky about the people or things you expose your mind to. They unconsciously affect the life you live and the things you have in your life.

~ Musa