It’s A Phase Until It Becomes Intentional

The falling in love phase is so exciting.

Thrilling.

Passionate.

The longing to meet each other.

Most lovers base their decision to marry while in that phase.

A phase that will end.

And right then, when the euphoria of falling in love has dissipated and when love is not as automatic.

When your love for one another must be intentional, that’s when the rubber meets the road.

You need to work.

Work is love.

Love is work.

Now you have to be conscious of what your partner really likes, what really fills her love tank.

And you have to start speaking their love language.

Failure to do so, will result in resentment, that compounds until what your version of “happily ever after” becomes but a dream.

Leading to breaks ups.

Reminds me of this great guy who was madly in love with this cool girl.

Going out for dates, presents where bought, vacations (baecations) were taken.

An absolutely fabulous relationship.

Or so I thought.

The moment this great guy lost his job and his car, cool girl broke up with him.

Even though they were engaged.

She wasn’t going to receive the kind of love she’s grown used to, so she dropped him.

Because great guy was now trash, you see?

Great guy managed to pick himself up, financially as well.

Cool girl now wants great guy back.

Because he is now capable of loving her in her love language now.

Love is not only a feeling, but the conscious willingness to feel each other’s love tank.

It’s intentional.

You fuck that up and you’re fucked.

That is why you find people going from one relationship to another, high from the falling in love phase.

Once the high leaves their veins they jump to another relationship and on to the next trip.

~ Musa

One Of The Reasons I Love My Daughter

The problem with me is that I don’t like to be told what to do.

I think that’s why I don’t do church anymore.

Anything left-wing is my cup of tea.

I try going with the flow, for the sake of peace, but down the line, I start to feel uneasy about being a follower.

It gets hard to breath you know?

It’shard for my personality to act the part of a person who follows obediently.

When fucking shit up brings me so much joy.

I think that’s one of the many reasons why I love my daughter.

~ Musa

Nothing Beats The Grind

After 2-3 weeks of submitting a minimum of 10 resumes a day, I finally got a job. My fiance’s family fed me during the holidays hustle.

A very humbling experience since I am a prideful man.

I don’t like getting handouts because in my life I’ve come to find that most handouts come with an IOU tag.

I don’t want to be indebted to anyone.

So being in the position I was in, made me grind harder.

I think I sent out those CVs and with me going to interviews between.

Some interviews where scams, some promising. But I kept submitting them promising or not.

Most people start slowling where nearing the finish line.

I slow down once I cross it.

Hell, I even turned to reading the bible.

You know shit’s hit the fan when I pick up “the book.”

It kept me going. That and seeing the unbothered smile on my daughter’s face.

She hit the side of her eye, that one, playing in the playgrounds at cresche.

Had to get stitched. Busy walking around with an eye the size of a golf ball. To put it mildly, she was not impressed seeing the world with one eye.

But I’m glad I was there to assist with the healing process.

But it was her mom that kept me above water mainly. There’s no one I appreciated more, beyond words even, than her, during this period.

I felt stripped of my title as a provider.

As a man, if I cannot provide for my family, what am I?

Feeling lost, going to bed with a broken heart. I was without purpose and I felt depressed.

The need to feel needed by corporate was overwhelming. Which felt like a contradiction because I promote the idea of owning your own business.

A purposeless, non providing, hypocrite of the a man.

And I knew if I start hating myself then there won’t be any improvement in my life.

So I kept my black ass working to keep from thinking negative thoughts.

Because my thinking was shit.

It worked, at face level.

But for lasting results, I need that deep kinda loving.

That only I can provide from the inside out.

The grind paid off.

Now employed on a probationary basis.

Work ethic + being intentional + the law of averages working in my favour produced results.

With prayer and work ethic, something’s got to give.

And it did.

As expected.

~ Musa

PS. This was a delayed post. My baby girl is all healed up now. Mischievous as hell. I wouldn’t want it any other way.

“The Longest Distance Between Two Points Is A Shortcut.”

Garyvee asked: “What if today was the last day of your life?”

“How would you spend it?”

Good question.

I don’t know, honestly.

Maybe I would spending it with people I love or maybe I’ll be writing about something.

Like I am now.

But what if today was the last day of your life, how would you spend it?

Some live for the now.

Not giving AF about tomorrow.

The microwave society.

The instant society.

There are some instances when things need to be done with a sense of urgency.

Just not all the time, though.

Life is not a status update…

…So says the guy who’s about to update his blog right?

What I mean to say is that the best things take time.

And in the same breath, it is good to have a sense of urgency every now and again.

When do you apply speed and when do you slow down?

That I cannot say.

Some things you need to experience first-hand so you can use your experience to help you make better life decisions.

You cannot live your best life through your screen.

TV screen.

Laptop screen.

Computer screen.

Tablet screen.

Phone screen.

All mental prisons.

So to answer Gary’s question, I’ll spend less time on the screen and more time with building myself.

Feeding my soul doing what I love and spending time with those that I love.

How about you?

~ Musa

The Importance of Contrast

It’s important to expose yourself to contrast.

I’m speaking in terms of minding not to over expose your brain to negative sh**.

Too much of that would have you thinking the whole world going to hell.

With the Internet customizing your search results based on your preference, social media just reaffirms your set of beliefs.

Whether they are valid or not.

So watch more positive stuff.

Read more inspiring stuff.

Like more uplifting posts.

Reshare more motivational shandis.

Manipulate the system in your favor.

Acknowledge the shit show you might be in, but lean in more to the life enriching ideology.

Especially when you realize what’s truly important in your life.

Beautifully explained in the movie I was chatting about with my sister, About Time.

~ Musa

Your Growth Is Limited By Your Environment

My latest favorite content marketing guy said I should document my life regularly.

So here I am, doing just that.

Imitate successful people long enough and you too will be successful.

Long enough and consistently enough.

So there was something a friend of mine wrote…

… I can’t say we’re friends, I mean I never met the guy but I do enjoy his tweets.

Anyways, the guy wasn’t feeling well, I mean we are human, and he posted how he had a bad feeling about today.

This was something which was out of character of him.

But then again, like the rest of us, he spends like 2% of his life on social media so what do I know.

Nonetherless we are what we think.

As a man thinketh, so shall he be.

So I politely asked he stop with his sh** and focus on willing the day into a great one.

But I did that mostly for selfish reasons.

I can’t be scrolling through my Twitter timeline with such negativity.

Like, I’m the most negative person I know.

That’s why I need this blog, YouTube videos, and other motivational just to make it through the day.

So I need those I follow to inspire me with every swipe on my phone.

To surround myself with positive shandis that will outweigh the negative, so that I can attract more people and things to be grateful for.

I think that’s why I’ve unfriended so many on Facebook and unfollowed on IG and Twitter.

Be picky about the people or things you expose your mind to. They unconsciously affect the life you live and the things you have in your life.

~ Musa

Just Peachy….

I was on Facebook with it’s FB memories reminders.

That seems to be the only thing I update on Facebook, come to think of it.

Meaning next year I will be reminded about the memories FB reminded me of today.

Nothing new under the sun.

Went emo couple of days back with the blog I published.

That day sucked, but I’ve had worse.

The morning sex usually helps with improving my mood.

But my partner in crime was not available for the joint venture so I turned to food. I was out of beer.

Self gratification gives me minimal pleasure. Not as satisfying as the excitement I get in conquering the female body into orgasm…I digress.

So I took baby girl to daycare in the morning.

Did the dishes.

Took a nap.

Bathed and headed for work.

I took the time I spent offline focusing on what’s going right, even though the world is on fire around me.

Reminds me of that hell scene when John Constantine went for a quick peek in that Constantine movie.

Things could be better, yes, but bitching about them won’t change them much.

Sometimes the discomfort you are experiencing now is nudging you forward, not backward.

Busy praying for deliverance from your current unhappiness but you’re not happy with the process it takes for your prayer to be answered.

S*** will always hit the fan. Even more so when change is coming.

Think it’s a matter of riding it out. But to always keep your eyes on the price.

That’s why goals are important.

Without them, what’s the point of living?

~ Musa