It Was That Fucken Forehead of Yours

Did You Know:
Hydrocephalus – Also called: water on the brain
A build-up of fluid in the cavities deep within the brain.
 
The extra fluid puts pressure on the brain and can cause brain damage.
It’s most common in infants and older adults.
 
Hydrocephalus is characterised by head enlargement in infants.
 
Adults and older children experience headache, impaired vision, cognitive difficulties, loss of coordination and incontinence.
 
Treatment is often a tube (shunt) inserted surgically into a ventricle to drain excess fluid.

***

Maybe a week.

Or a couple of days without speaking.

But never more than a month.

Shit doesn’t feel normal.

I think I’m losing my mind.

Fuck.

But she was in tears.

She saw how withdrawn I’ve become.

I blamed her but honestly, I was to blame.

It had nothing to do with her, I was just thinking about myself.

Because I’m greedy.

But it felt good, what was I supposed to do.

It went from 0 to 100 quick.

That shit took off like a runaway slave.Siwa.jpg

And then, and then she asked, “are you going to call me back again right?”

“Like Fuck yeah!”

That’s what I really wanted to say.

But I ended up saying,

“I’ll try.”

“Maybe.”

“I’ll think about it.”

And she would reply, “Okay then, so I’ll hear from you soon then. Bye.”

I fucken hated falling for her.

…I can see why he married you.

~ Musa

The Struggle to Success

Sometimes you have to be knocked down to get ahead in life.

Because of the person you need to become once you get up.

But some just stay knocked down.

Life will knock you TF down, that’s inevitable.

But it’s imperative that you find a way to get up.

That is the price you have to pay for what you want.

Things don’t just come to you, on the regular, without you playing your part.

You got to have your teeth knocked in.

You got to get that gut check.

You want to succeed?

That’s the gauntlet you have to go through.

You get knocked down so that you can dust yourself off and rise.

It’s in your rising that you will find your salvation.

Get the F up!

Become alive.

Your soul yearns for that taste of being alive.

Life is working in your favour, believe it or not.

You might be having your dips in life, but you have more peaks than dips.

Your focus is on how s*** life is.

The important part is to remember that you are going through the dips.

Don’t camp there.

Keep going.

Crawl if you have to.

You have to go through the furnace to become the person you need to be.

Lift your head up so that your line of vision will allow you to see opportunities to get you ahead in life.

Not the obstacles you keep looking for on the ground.

Only then will you be within eye view of the things that you want.

Life is conspiring for you and not against you.

Life is outside your comfort zone, so in order for you to succeed, shit needs to be uncomfortable.

Success is the progressive realization of a worthy ideal.

If you having it easy in life, then you’re not progressing towards success, but away from it.

It’s a process.

Like, how bad do you want it?

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~ Musa

The BS Story You Keep Telling Yourself…

I just realized something, I’m 35 and I don’t have a pension fund.

This was a result of me jumping from one company to another.

Yes, it’s my fault.

Leaving permanent, 4 year government job I had in favor of fulltime stock trading, was a very risky move.

That stunt came back to bite me in the ass, when that venture failed.

Mainly because I did not initially find someone who was already succeeding in what I wanted to do.

And modelling their success habits that will allow me to be as successful.

Mentorship, would have this most very lucrative for me.

I had to go to corporate world with zero pension fund, bouncing from one pension fund-less job to another.

This was due to the kind of temporary jobs I’ve been getting.

Temps jobs don’t come pension benefits.

Now because I’ve been relying on a company to determine my future financial security, I’m left caught with my dick in my hand.

I’ve been relying on other people to provide a level of security that they themselves aren’t aware of.

There’s no power there.

That part of my life has been titled as one of my greatest failure.

But I’ve now found that it’s one of my greatest successes.

Because of the lessons it has taught me.

More of a warning.

That you are leaving yourself too exposed if you success depends on someone else’s decision.

Your chances of success will tilt in your favour when you take 100% ownership of your level of success in your life.81x2aSRQqGL

Saying that anyone or any institution is the reason behind why you’re not getting ahead in life, is a bullshit story you keep telling yourself.

So much so that you believe it.

And because of your belief, this has become your reality.

Just because things are dire for now, does not mean I’m f***ed for life.

Especially when books by Anthony Robbins paint a different picture of my possible future.

~ Musa

One Of The Reasons I Love My Daughter

The problem with me is that I don’t like to be told what to do.

I think that’s why I don’t do church anymore.

Anything left-wing is my cup of tea.

I try going with the flow, for the sake of peace, but down the line, I start to feel uneasy about being a follower.

It gets hard to breath you know?

It’shard for my personality to act the part of a person who follows obediently.

When fucking shit up brings me so much joy.

I think that’s one of the many reasons why I love my daughter.

~ Musa

Nothing Beats The Grind

After 2-3 weeks of submitting a minimum of 10 resumes a day, I finally got a job. My fiance’s family fed me during the holidays hustle.

A very humbling experience since I am a prideful man.

I don’t like getting handouts because in my life I’ve come to find that most handouts come with an IOU tag.

I don’t want to be indebted to anyone.

So being in the position I was in, made me grind harder.

I think I sent out those CVs and with me going to interviews between.

Some interviews where scams, some promising. But I kept submitting them promising or not.

Most people start slowling where nearing the finish line.

I slow down once I cross it.

Hell, I even turned to reading the bible.

You know shit’s hit the fan when I pick up “the book.”

It kept me going. That and seeing the unbothered smile on my daughter’s face.

She hit the side of her eye, that one, playing in the playgrounds at cresche.

Had to get stitched. Busy walking around with an eye the size of a golf ball. To put it mildly, she was not impressed seeing the world with one eye.

But I’m glad I was there to assist with the healing process.

But it was her mom that kept me above water mainly. There’s no one I appreciated more, beyond words even, than her, during this period.

I felt stripped of my title as a provider.

As a man, if I cannot provide for my family, what am I?

Feeling lost, going to bed with a broken heart. I was without purpose and I felt depressed.

The need to feel needed by corporate was overwhelming. Which felt like a contradiction because I promote the idea of owning your own business.

A purposeless, non providing, hypocrite of the a man.

And I knew if I start hating myself then there won’t be any improvement in my life.

So I kept my black ass working to keep from thinking negative thoughts.

Because my thinking was shit.

It worked, at face level.

But for lasting results, I need that deep kinda loving.

That only I can provide from the inside out.

The grind paid off.

Now employed on a probationary basis.

Work ethic + being intentional + the law of averages working in my favour produced results.

With prayer and work ethic, something’s got to give.

And it did.

As expected.

~ Musa

PS. This was a delayed post. My baby girl is all healed up now. Mischievous as hell. I wouldn’t want it any other way.

The Relativity of Time and How Time is Relative

There are so many realities out there.

What might be real to you, what not be real to me.

At that time anyway.

Reality and time work hand in hand, until they don’t.

I found that what I objected to a couple of years ago, is something I fully support now.

You live long enough to become a hypocrite in this world.

I obviously say this based on my reality, but I still have the balls to disagree with yours.

Reality is relative.

~ Musa

“The Longest Distance Between Two Points Is A Shortcut.”

Garyvee asked: “What if today was the last day of your life?”

“How would you spend it?”

Good question.

I don’t know, honestly.

Maybe I would spending it with people I love or maybe I’ll be writing about something.

Like I am now.

But what if today was the last day of your life, how would you spend it?

Some live for the now.

Not giving AF about tomorrow.

The microwave society.

The instant society.

There are some instances when things need to be done with a sense of urgency.

Just not all the time, though.

Life is not a status update…

…So says the guy who’s about to update his blog right?

What I mean to say is that the best things take time.

And in the same breath, it is good to have a sense of urgency every now and again.

When do you apply speed and when do you slow down?

That I cannot say.

Some things you need to experience first-hand so you can use your experience to help you make better life decisions.

You cannot live your best life through your screen.

TV screen.

Laptop screen.

Computer screen.

Tablet screen.

Phone screen.

All mental prisons.

So to answer Gary’s question, I’ll spend less time on the screen and more time with building myself.

Feeding my soul doing what I love and spending time with those that I love.

How about you?

~ Musa

Don’t Allow Yourself to Be Anyone’s B****

Raise Your Standards.

If you don’t ask much from yourself.

Then you will keep getting what you keep getting.

This guy I know, he wrote that the one thing he clearly remembered that helped him change from being a janitor to a multimillionaire businessman, was that he raised he standards.

He expected more from himself.

So there are things that I used to do, in the spirit of pleasing others.

But now I don’t.

There are people out there who believe they need to be placed in pedestals.

An idea that they have people around them promote. Thinking that we all dance to their fiddle.

Not all of us do.

Don’t allow people to turn you into a person that begs for their approval.

Some people, because you love them, will have you feeling small and use emotional blackmail that will have you crawling on your knees as a price for them to welcome you back in their arms.

Because you are emotionally invested, the indecency alludes you.

But one day, you eyes will be wide opened.

Who knows.

Maybe that day will come when you start raising your standards.

tdkr-batman-rain

~ Musa

Your Growth Is Limited By Your Environment

My latest favorite content marketing guy said I should document my life regularly.

So here I am, doing just that.

Imitate successful people long enough and you too will be successful.

Long enough and consistently enough.

So there was something a friend of mine wrote…

… I can’t say we’re friends, I mean I never met the guy but I do enjoy his tweets.

Anyways, the guy wasn’t feeling well, I mean we are human, and he posted how he had a bad feeling about today.

This was something which was out of character of him.

But then again, like the rest of us, he spends like 2% of his life on social media so what do I know.

Nonetherless we are what we think.

As a man thinketh, so shall he be.

So I politely asked he stop with his sh** and focus on willing the day into a great one.

But I did that mostly for selfish reasons.

I can’t be scrolling through my Twitter timeline with such negativity.

Like, I’m the most negative person I know.

That’s why I need this blog, YouTube videos, and other motivational just to make it through the day.

So I need those I follow to inspire me with every swipe on my phone.

To surround myself with positive shandis that will outweigh the negative, so that I can attract more people and things to be grateful for.

I think that’s why I’ve unfriended so many on Facebook and unfollowed on IG and Twitter.

Be picky about the people or things you expose your mind to. They unconsciously affect the life you live and the things you have in your life.

~ Musa

Just Peachy….

I was on Facebook with it’s FB memories reminders.

That seems to be the only thing I update on Facebook, come to think of it.

Meaning next year I will be reminded about the memories FB reminded me of today.

Nothing new under the sun.

Went emo couple of days back with the blog I published.

That day sucked, but I’ve had worse.

The morning sex usually helps with improving my mood.

But my partner in crime was not available for the joint venture so I turned to food. I was out of beer.

Self gratification gives me minimal pleasure. Not as satisfying as the excitement I get in conquering the female body into orgasm…I digress.

So I took baby girl to daycare in the morning.

Did the dishes.

Took a nap.

Bathed and headed for work.

I took the time I spent offline focusing on what’s going right, even though the world is on fire around me.

Reminds me of that hell scene when John Constantine went for a quick peek in that Constantine movie.

Things could be better, yes, but bitching about them won’t change them much.

Sometimes the discomfort you are experiencing now is nudging you forward, not backward.

Busy praying for deliverance from your current unhappiness but you’re not happy with the process it takes for your prayer to be answered.

S*** will always hit the fan. Even more so when change is coming.

Think it’s a matter of riding it out. But to always keep your eyes on the price.

That’s why goals are important.

Without them, what’s the point of living?

~ Musa