It gets quite.
And in that silence, when my thoughts are not occupied by something, my thoughts drift.
Like a 1 ply toilet paper, that shit floats and travels and drifts and lands.
On things it shouldn’t.
Empty things that don’t have value because they don’t value you back.
An unspoken agreement between the two of us.
An agreement I keep breaking because I see the value.
Which contradicts my values.
As I play make-believe and have imaginary conversations in my head, with a ghost.
Haunting me like Toby…but shorter.
I’m an impulsive guy and I don’t believe in denying myself of anything I crave.
The one disclaimer is that it shouldn’t come at the expense of others.
A disclaimer I’ve been striving to live up to.
There are urges or repetitive habits we indulge in that makes us all “addicts.”
TV drama addicts.
Social media likes.
Staying at home.
In some shape or form we are all addicted to something.
It comes back to what Mr. Anthony Robbins said about being able to identify the emotional fulfillment you achieve from getting your next “fix”, will help you replace your addiction to one that works for you and not against you.
But I think the first step is to have the emotional intelligence Dr. Stephen R. Covey writes about of being aware of your “addictions”.
And being able to recognize whether they are working for you or not.
Then having the guts to put in the work needed to train your brain, over a period of time, in indulging in those habits (addictions) that will take you ahead in your life.
The things you repeatedly do or repeatedly don’t do, unconsciously and over time is the result of where you are right now.