Christmas & Autism

Yesterday was crazy (25/12/2019).

It was a family function, and unlike the wedding trip we took with my Omu who is autistic, this time it was a Christmas family gathering.

With her sensory overloads and hyperactivity, it was difficult doing my best to manage her. But more importantly I also had to manage my emotions as well.

Especially with the “abantu bazo thini” (what will people say) pull going.

We are also giving her CBD Oil, two 0.25 mg drops of it.

One at 7am.

The second at 7pm.

All in the name of better helping her manage this special technique most call autism.

Especially when it comes to reducing anxiety.

We were on risperdal before, to reduce how her brain keeps firing which increases her hyperactivity.

So this change of medication added with attending a family function was obviously going to make this “try out” day an eventful one.

My Omu is 3 years of age and is particular in what she likes. Strict maybe. Borderline obsessive?

And she will keep playing repeatedly once she finds something new to play with, like repeatedly.

Did I say she enjoys repetitive play?

New things that she can predict or control their outcome brings her as sense of calmness or peace, perhaps?

Whatever she gains from it, she will keep stimulating that dopamine hit for as long as she can.

Things got intense when the pool was involved.

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My daughter loves water guys.

So the family that was hosting us had a big people pool but also got a kiddies pool as well.

She got in the kiddies pool with a life jacket we had borrowed from her cousin (just in case she decided to be adventurous and run into the big pool).

She was in there with her cousin, then her mom decided to join them.

Good times.

Splashing away and all, but her mom was controlling the amount of splashes so that Omu can still have fun, but to also manage the intensity of the fun so our baby doesn’t get too overstimulated. Yeah, it’s a big thing in the Autism world.

Over stimulation upset her. See this vid to see what I mean.

That’s her standing because she loved the splashes but it was a bit overwhelming and at the same time she was really enjoying herself, that’s why she’s still in the pool and didn’t run out.

It’s was beautiful.

Until my baby started shivering.

A World War was going to begin, because you remember I told you she likes repetitive play?

So “evil” dad and “evil” mom had to stop the fun she was having, for the sake of her health.

To her, the unexpected interruption of her play, made her go berserk.

Some were concerned, and only a couple of her aunt’s tried to help. She was having a full swing meltdown.

This is the first time they saw her act this way in real time.

We forgot how sudden changes make her upset, and now since she’s non-verbal, her way of communicating her distress is through throwing a tantrum.

Or is it a meltdown? I need to find what the difference is.

The specialist suggested we give her a heads up before time we change from one activity to another.

Preparing her, or even doing a countdown like as in telling her that in 5 minutes time, we would need to stop playing with water because we are getting cold.

So that it doesn’t come as a shock to her.

Another challenge was that her other cousins were still having fun playing and yet we wanted her to stop.

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The injustice of it all, could have been another contributing factor to her protest.

I took her out, kicking and screaming and slapping, only for her to move over to the big people pool.

Joy…

Also filled with the older kids having fun there, making it even more desirable for my sensory seeking little Beasty.

Had to negotiate with her because se was standing at the edge of the deep end of the pool, while we were following her around, so I moved her to the steps at the entrance.

I got in with casual my shorts and all, so I could ensure her safety.

See, even though there were people that could have watch over her in the pool, I decided to go in with her because we’re so used to not relying much on people when it comes to her care and safety.

You should have seen her dip her one foot in, then out again.

Getting the feel of the water texture and temp.

Then she tried it with her other foot, and out again.

So fucken cute that was.

Eventually she got both in.

And all else was a blur. She was my world.

Nothing else existed.

Baby was getting the shivers again.

Lucky, the backyard had a mini play area. So I took her there to sort of “quarantine” her.

So it was a mini picnic of sorts.

Not a bad Christmas at all, even though we had to fight whenever she wanted to go back to the where all the fun was.

The day taught me a lot.

Tiring as it was.

Sometimes I need to let her discover the world her way and not be too much of a prison guard.

I also saw a lot of me in her as well.

Which is very fascinating.

Her mom did a lot of damage control in the background and made the day a success.

She does most of the work when it comes to raising Omu so she did deserve a break for the day.

Me and Omuhle Siphosethu Tshoaele wouldn’t be where we are without her.

As nerve-wrecking as it was, it was a good day.

Hiding her from the world doesn’t makes sense.

Reminds me of that Float movie on Disney+.

~ Musa

Are Your Among The Undead?

withGod needs praising.

I know this sounds weird from someone who has one foot in and one foot out when it comes to Christianity.

Actually it’s not God I have beef with but Christianity.

Most see them as one in the same.

But I always like to be clear that you can have one without the other, especially when it comes to what you define God as.

Something I felt throughout my jaded teachings in church.

An understanding I needed clarity on that I found in “Conversations with God.”

Thank you Nombali Ntuli for the recommended read.

It is with God that All things are possible.

Growing with understanding of what God really is, I feel, is a personal growth that you can share with others.

But it shouldn’t be gospel.

Although, I believe church is necessary.

The endless metaphors – open to a variety of interpretation – that become doctrine, are sprinkled throughout the Bible.

Hence the various churches we have.

Variety is good.

It’s good because Tony says it’s good.

Tony likes Conor.

I don’t like Conor.

Maybe it’s because I don’t know his story.

I know Tony’s story though.

So Conor is good people then.

It hit me this morning how acknowledging the existence of a source, the original source of everything, gives you power.

I call it God.

Some call it Energy.

Some call it the Universe.

It’s All this and so much more.

That continued acknowledgment of this All and how you are a physical extension of the non-physical, which is bigger than you.

Since it exists in everything that exists.

Sometimes we carry these “crosses” on our shoulders, believing we are in this alone.

In this “adulting” thing or period of challenge or discomfort alone.

This misconception makes this life experience we are having a tough experience, for some.

But I’m sure you don’t fall in that category.

The unlimited strength that comes from praising and being in a state of genuine gratitude of God, reignites your enthusiasm.

hqdefaultThe flavor of life becomes lost if all you do is just ploughing along, day in and day out, “zombifies” you.

You become linear.

The undead.

Because you “have” to do it and not because you love to do it.

You need to wake up for the love and not for the obligation.

Things are done half-heartedly when you have to do them, but people go above and beyond when people do what they love.

It’s a fire and brimstone journey going for what you love.

You need to keep going though.

You need to go through it.

The ridicule.

The humiliation.

The stoning.

The process.

For you to be born anew.

Something your old self needs to die for.

Like that other guy did on the cross?god

He did it.

Died for what he believed in.

A life of purpose.

I think we need of that in our lives.

A life of purpose, as opposed to a life of routine.

Purpose is life.

Routine is death.

~ Musa

PS: Compliments of the New Season