Eyes Tell No Lies…Until They Do…

IMG-20191214-WA0020I sent a buddy of mine, a graduate mind you (because I hang around professionals), a recent photo of myself at office.

The air-con was on so I needed to put on my “Eskimo jacket.”

I looked so tired in it.

Well, my eyes looked tired.

My eyes used to radiate excitement and fun and joy and laughter, passion even.

I see those eyes in my older pics.

That fire in my eyes has slowly dimmed.

My supervisor in the short-term insurance telemarketing job I had in Randburg, mentioned how I smiled with my eyes.

I think my eyes I tired of telling lines, and are just reflecting what I feel in my heart.

Sadness.

What’s making you sad?”

I don’t know.

Or maybe I do and I just don’t want to admit it.

Admitting it will free me from this sadness that now feels so warm.

Pain addict.

A colleague said that’s a toxic way of living.

I’ll be way from work for the next 6 days, I hope that I will find ways of getting my shit in order.

Or I should maybe consult with one of these professionals I’ve been bragging about.

I’ve been reading Breaking the Habit of Being YourselfHow to Love Your Mind and Create a New One by Dr. Joe Dipenza.

This book is striking almost every nerve I have in relation to my current head space. It’s a difficult read because I need the information that’s coming across from it.

Maybe once I’m done, my eyes won’t look as tired as my heart is.

~ Musa

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