The Importance of Contrast

It’s important to expose yourself to contrast.

I’m speaking in terms of minding not to over expose your brain to negative sh**.

Too much of that would have you thinking the whole world going to hell.

With the Internet customizing your search results based on your preference, social media just reaffirms your set of beliefs.

Whether they are valid or not.

So watch more positive stuff.

Read more inspiring stuff.

Like more uplifting posts.

Reshare more motivational shandis.

Manipulate the system in your favor.

Acknowledge the shit show you might be in, but lean in more to the life enriching ideology.

Especially when you realize what’s truly important in your life.

Beautifully explained in the movie I was chatting about with my sister, About Time.

~ Musa

The Master Is In Charge

I think discipline is self mastery.gotham

I learnt that word “self mastery” from Fish Mooney.

There was a video where she was promoting mastering yourself.

Emotions are what makes us human.

It’s up to us to control them or they will control us.

~ Musa

Be The Best, Especially When They Are Not Looking

I saw this cool thing while browsing the UFC videos on facebook.

There was a backstage interview they did.

Where a current fighter was giving props to a retired mma fighter.

Sometimes what you do inspires others.

Even when you’re not noticing that you are.

These days people only do good if someone is recording a video of them doing so.

It’s quite sad.

As if to say if noone sees the good I’m doing, then what’s the point.

Got to get those likes, you see?

So my plea is to do good.

Especially when no one’s looking.

Try to be the best version of yourself.

Whether there’s a phone recording you or not.

Try to be the best version of yourself, even if your current environment is trying to choke that out of you.

~ Musa‎

You Want My Relationship Advice?

Let me start off by saying that relationships are funny.

Not funny “haha” but funny “ya neh.”

You’ll never get it right, all the time, 100% of the time.

I’m just thankful for the educational program I was on, with books and CDS on what relationships work.

Especially introducing me to books like Personality Plus and The 5 Love Languages, in that order preferably.eysenck

The way I was effing things up in my relationship with Thube, I’m not sure why she stuck with me for so long.

But those books helped me understand her and her, me.

Maybe the one thing we had going for us was that we both wanted us to work.

Even though I was sabotaging the relationship from the fear of losing someone who made me feel so good.

Let me explain:

Growing up, I taught myself not to be attached to events or things that made me feel good.

Because there was no guarantee that I was going to get them again.

Sometimes the parents had to work their butts off so my sister and I can have a taste of the good life.

So when good came in our household – in whatever form – I registered them as temporary.

I should expect a retake for a while, if ever.

Because I’m a clingy and sensitive SOB.

So enter Thube.

The name of that chapter in my life would be “The Psychologist.”

She flirted herself into a now 13 year relationship with me, that one.2013-03-01_1244_thumb-590x400

It’s only in the past year or so that I’m STARTING to understand what makes her tick.

My love for knowledge and how things work makes this an infinite game.

I love games.

So I always try to improve where I can.

And that’s why I speak so highly about those books.

They definitely helped me understand myself better.

It helped me understand her better.

But I had to be open and be vulnerable first.

Something society sees as “unmanly.”

And as a chauvinist, humbling myself and practicing mutual respect is still a work in progress for me.

~ Musa

There Is A Power You Have Total Control Over…

1_0vv6-h4s_w1M_ceauDRzJwIf I was writing an autobiography of my life, and I had the opportunity to write a title for this particular chapter in my life, I would title it “Working Under Pressure.”

Probably have the subheading as “Understanding Cause and Effect and How to Use the Slight Edge to Work in Your Favour.”

Of my 35 years in this lifetime, I’ve never been as stressed out.

This time around, I’m trying not to react out emotionally.

A certain amount if stress can be good you. It helps with focus, I feel.

There was a time that I did react emotionally and I had to clean up after myself when my tantrum was done.

There are certain things that are out of my control that I can’t really be angry about.

And there are those things that I do have control over.

But through neglect, compounded over time, I find myself in the position of having to react. Playing the blame game on how the world doesn’t want me to succeed.

Which is BS.

Doing enough of the wrong things will lead to failure.

Doing enough of the right things will lead to success.

There’s no mystic force that’s stopping me from succeeding.

There’s no external voodoo that’s making me see failure at every turn.

It’s all me.

It’s all you.

So stop messing around and do what Jocko Willink does and take extreme ownership.

There is power in taking 100 percent ownership.

~ Musa

Front Toward Enemy

24-Lewis-tells-Frank-to-cut-the-white-wire-and-it-works-1080x675So I had an enlightening morning power meeting with my two year old daughter, on the morning drive to daycare.

She didn’t flat out laugh at my face when I told her that I’m going to try taking a break from Facebook for a while.

But she did look at me, then looked out the window, mumbling something inaudible.

Hate it when she sideways cusses me.

Anyway, this idea was from a Reader’s Digest article that said FaceBook is not good for your mental health.

I think spending anytime on screens for prolonged periods, should affect you some how.

But more so on your handheld device.

Due to how it increases your anxiety levels, it’s no wonder you find it hard to sleep.

Or do you strain your mind and body with enough anxiety simulation that you eventually pass out due to exhaustion?

I’ve dissed women many times for their love of talking.

But that is one of their greatest assets.

Men don’t talk much, especially when we are hurting.

Keeping all that pain inside eventually spills out in ugly ways, sometimes.

But talking about your feelings as a man is a sign of weakness you see? Very feminine.

I guess that’s why most of the gays I know as so successful in life.

Those guys talk hey?

It’s as if talking is a success principle.

Guys should talk about their feelings more. But for some death is more preferable, since it’s things like these that lead to depression.

Left untreated then you will have people like me using you to promote mental health awareness.

It made me think about we are walking around with Claymore mines in our pockets, in the form of cellphones…

~ Musa

You Could Have It Worse

downloadHad a shit day at work yesterday.

Came back home having successfully gathered, in my mind, other BS past events to feel shit about.

But instead of hiding my mini depression behind alcohol or sex, I decided to pray about it.

Having all that stuff compound inside you, in the form of thoughts, will fester and eat you up inside.

Venting in the form of prayer, for me anyway, helps.

So I went to bed, sat up and took my sleeping Sethu in my arms and began to pray.

As if using her as my telephone line to God.

Mentioning how that very baby girl has the flue and needs to get better soon.

How taking her to speech therapy is emotionally taxing and how I need to be strong for her during these effortless sessions – the little one has the time of her life during these sessions.

I also prayed on how I need to speak to this surprisingly ignorant daycare teacher labeling my genius baby as a slow learner, even though the child development specialist evaluated that she’s only delayed in speech for her age.

Please-climb-that-tree1Actually f*** the specialist, I see that my baby is on point, even though the stupid twat doesn’t.

I prayed over the shit job situation, and their stupid ass meetings that borderline exit interviews.

Prayed about me having to raise 6 times my monthly salary in a space of 12 months as an offering to officially marry the mother of my child.

Me having to move my family to a new rental space. This being our 9th move to date.

The car needing services & repairs.

Me, the first born, feeling compelled to take care of my mom who sold her house.

God knows why.

I say God knows because after the house got sold and she had to go rent for a couple of months, she moved to another church.

The previous church is rumored as a church that uses people’s beliefs to church’s benefit…then again isn’t that the case with most churches?

God works in mysterious ways.

Mom now stays with relatives, who I feel are side eyeing me on why I haven’t stepped up to the plate and took ownership of her situation.

Hell, I’m barely holding things together with my family, let alone including umama into the equation.

Thinking that having the mother of my child going back to live her parents house would save us some money and open up some cashflow options, only to have her own mother kick her out.

Mamazala, your future son in law is working on solutions here but you’re a not getting with the program.

With resumes being updated and submitted for new job apps among all of this. Anxiety levels stretching since I’m going out of my comfort zone and whoring myself out to the marketplace yet again.

Then I heard are only distributor of energy in South Africa was over R400 billion in debt.

So maybe I don’t have it all that bad see?

~ Musa