So some time ago I established a “connect,” can’t really say a friendship since we met online without any offline relationship, with an awesome lady. The connect was based on my liking her status updates and commenting and inbox messages.
Her online persona was lovely, there were times I couldn’t wait to send her message or share her interest on my timeline. She’s addicted to an artist I was coincidently listening to. So it was a cool thing we could further relate on. But I done did mess up.
Incorrectly thinking I was being humorous the next message I sent to her inbox had sexual connotations to it. With that cucumber emoticon to boot.
To say she was not impressed is an understatement.
Her reply was unexpected. A full 180 to the person I thought I “knew.” In fact I was very pissed off by the way she responded. I honestly believed that I did not deserve the negative reply. Placing her in the wrong and me in the right. Making as if I was the one how was the victim.
When emotions are high, intelligence drops. So I let the issue sink in. Letting the emotion of being wrong run through my body for a couple of days before reacting. Dr. Covey recommends expanding the gap between something that was done to you, and your reaction to it.
I think I mistakenly “cashed in” on the emotional bank account I had with her. Not knowing what rubs her off the wrong way, before going for the jugular. Unleashing all of me instead of pacing myself. Because I am naughty. Very. But the timing was off with me striking a nerve with her.
I don’t follow her timeline anymore. I miss her though. Guess that’s a testament to my attachment issues. Throwing shade will be very immature of me. That will not benefit me in any way. Because shutting down and not letting anyone else in won’t work either.
There are lessons to be learnt from rejection. Throwing a tantrum & crying foul isn’t going to help. Cussing our fellow sisters because egos are hurt really shows how small minded us guys are.
I just need to guard against how much of myself I reveal. No need to overwhelm abantu with my transparency.
People need to be met where they are. And I needed to take my head out the gutter so that I could have shown her some respect.