Journal About My Almost Mid-Life Crisis

What I love about BlackBerry – you know, the old ‘Berrys with the QWERTY keypads – is the feeling of the buttons underneath my thumbs.

Reminds me of those old “Tetris” handheld consoles during your GameBoys era.

Lol!

Should have used PSP instead of GameBoy some people won’t be able to relate.

Feeling nostalgic this afternoon.

As I said my goodbyes to a friend.

I would like to call him a friend.

Something I wasn’t too conscious about ever since I started the business.

In fact on a similar business model before this one, I used rapport for financial gains more than anything else.

But now it’s different.

I really enjoy people… I say that like it’s an achievement.

Especially like-minded oaks to help me when I’m down.

But people, some, can be awful at times, it usually spoils the view I have for the rest of them.

I speak like I’m an alien, separate from the human species, but like ja sometimes I feel that’s the case.

But it’s really nice when you meet someone who as a positive outlook.

Who laughs about life’s struggles but chooses to focus on making the best of things instead of bitching about them.

Not to denounce bitching, it has miraculous delightful benefits, but if that’s your only point view then life will continue to sucks for you.

‘Mean if being negative is your dominant reference point, life then for you is going to BE just that… Negative.

Since that is what you think with your thoughts, you affirm with your words and follow through with your actions.

That’s why I liked listening to some motivational CD a day.

A 15 min positive and/or instructive and/or motivation and/or inspiring read a day also does the trick too.

Come to think of it things are incredibly, sickly tough right now maybe it’s because of not practicing these simple daily principles on the daily.

Staying with the Mrs who I promised to marry while my wages can’t even take care of myself.

Only to have her being unexpectedly retrenched, she’s throwing the book to those fuckers by the way, leading to the creditors hounding her and the repo man gunning for her car.

What kind of a man am I to let my woman suffer like that?

Such very inspiring self talks I am told by my mentors to avoid having.

But on the flip side there’s a lot to be grateful for.

Even though there’s not much flexibility in our choices.

But I always says it’s only temporary.

Here I am trying to tell her that everything that is happening is bringing us closer to our goals…with nothing to show for it.

Which is true.

But it’s not her truth.

But I am grateful for choice.

As bad as things are, someone out there would give their left ball to live in what I call struggle.

The opportunities I have right now that I am taking for granted would drive someone else out there up the wall.

That’s why injecting the day with some form of positivity day in and day out will eventually train my mind to see these opportunities and allow me to capitalize on them.

“For every failure, there is an equal and opposite success.”

It’s just a matter of looking, intentionally for it.

“Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened..”

I’m sorry.

Please forgive me.

Thank you.

I love you.

~ Musawenkosi Tshoaele

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